


Their New Normal

by Coffeeteanves



Series: Smoke is not my Friend [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asthma, Fainting, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hospitalization, Kissing, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mutual Pining, Pining, Recovery, Slow Burn, Whump, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeeteanves/pseuds/Coffeeteanves
Summary: Sequel to "You Forgot Me"Harry is home, but is still recovering from being poisoned on stage. Louis wants to take care of him, but how do they deal with what happened in the hospital and their growing feelings for one another. In addition, to the fact that Harry's health will never be the same and he has to adapt to his new normal, but Louis will be there to help him, or will he?
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Smoke is not my Friend [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756234
Comments: 24
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts. After the success of the first one story, I was asked to do a sequel. Enjoy the first chapter.

Louis is tired. Actually, not just tired, exhausted. 

“How is he?” Anne asks as Louis comes downstairs. 

“He is exhausted, but he is asleep. We did another treatment once he was settled,” Louis says. 

Their plane landed at three that morning and there were cars to take everyone home. Anne went to their house while the other boys promised to check in later. Everyone was knackered so it was to be expected. They didn’t even get to Louis’s and Harry’s house until 5:30 and Louis had to half carry Harry upstairs after he slept for most of the flight. Louis was worried that he hasn’t had an appetite, but Anne told him that Harry didn’t have an appetite when he first had breathing treatments. 

Anne is making breakfast for them and Louis smiles appreciatively. “I can stay until tomorrow, but I have to go back to work. Are you okay with him here or do you want me to bring him back with me?”

Louis hesitated before answering. The idea of not seeing Harry really scared him and they needed to work out what happened in the hospital. He felt this intrinsic need to protect him and Louis feels strongly, between him and the boys they have it covered. 

“I can do it, plus the boys will be over to help. I know you missed so much work already and he is on the mend. Management arranged for a doctor to come over tomorrow and we will get him back to 100% in no time.”

“Thank you, Lou, really. You have been so strong through this, he is lucky to have such a good friend.”

Louis nods as he eats not sure that he wants to only be a good friend with Harry anymore. 

They quickly finish and go up to bed. Louis checks in on Harry, but this time he walks in and sits on the edge of the bed. He puts his hand up to Harry’s face, he still feels warm, a product of the steroids he has learned. There is also the tell-tale wheeze that has taken up residence in Harry’s chest that Louis has become accustomed too. 

“Lou, is that you?” Harry mumbles. 

“Yes, luv. I’m just checking on you, do you need anything?” 

“Can you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.” 

“Sure luv, let me get ready for bed and I will come join you, go back to sleep.” 

Louis quickly gets ready for bed and sets his alarm for two, since the doc will be there at three and climbs into bed. He lays on his side facing Harry because it reassures him to see the rise and fall of his chest. Harry must not be completely asleep because he pushes himself back against Louis, pulling Louis’s arm over himself and then sighs contentedly. At that point, who is Louis to complain that they fit together so well.

Louis didn’t move until he heard his alarm go off that afternoon. When he finally opened his eyes, he was scared for a moment to see the bed empty. Then his ears registered the voices filtering upstairs and he figured Harry was with his mum. He stretches and groans, feeling like he could sleep some more but he needs to be alert when the doctor comes and Anne has to head back home. After a quick shower, he comes down stairs and immediately looks for Harry. 

Seeing him at the kitchen table, his eyes run down him doing an assessment. The dark circles are still there, and his face is still swollen, along with his hands. After satisfied with what he sees, he catches Harry’s eyes and notices Harry is watching him. Louis smiles, raising his eyes in question. 

Harry knows what that look means, “Better, but still exhausted,” he says to Louis.

Louis nods and goes to make some tea and greets Anne. “How long as he been up?” 

“Only an hour, he wanted something to eat. I’m going to stay for the doctor and then head out. We probably need to have him lay down for a bit, but wait on a treatment until the doctor can examine him.” 

Louis nods again, making some toast before sitting next to Harry at the table. 

“The boys want to come over, want to wait until tomorrow to see them?” Louis asks. 

Harry nods and then they sit in comfortable silence as they sip their tea and Anne bustles around the kitchen. After a little while, Louis looks up and notices Harry’s eyes are closed as he is leaning on his hand. The adorableness of him stirs something inside of Louis, but now is not the time to acknowledge it. 

Louis catches Anne’s attention and they both smile. “Haz,” Louis says quietly, shaking the boy awake. “Let’s move you over to the couch until the doctor comes, ‘kay.”

Harry shakes his head and tries to get up, but he is dizzy again. Something that keeps happening that he should mention to the doctor. He grabs onto Louis and they shuffle off to the couch. Louis settles Harry down and pulls a blanket over him telling him, he will wake him up when the doctor arrives. Harry has no energy left, and mumbles something incoherent already on the way to dreamland. 

Louis looks down at the boy, not hiding his look of concern. When he looks up at Anne, her face echoes what he feels. “Remember the doctor said he would be tired for awhile and the treatments also make him tired,” Anne says.

“I know, but it is hard to see him like this. He is so lively and jumping around all the time, now he is so still.” 

“Let’s see what the doctor says and then I have to drive back home tonight.”

Louis nods and Anne goes up to finish packing while Louis goes and cleans up the kitchen. He is so thankful for their personal assistant that stocked the pantry and frig for them so that is one less thing he has to worry about. He sets out Dr. Eli’s instructions and the meds that Harry was prescribed so the doctor can see them and then ventures back to the living room to sit down and watch Harry. He is not surprised when his phone goes off with a text from Liam. So, he doesn’t have to repeat himself, he creates a group chat without H. Louis updates all of them and tells them they are welcome to come over tomorrow, but in the afternoon. They ask that he updates them after the doctor comes, Louis responds with a thumbs up and when he hears the doorbell ring. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Lintz, your management hired to me to see to Harry.”

“Sure, come in. He is sleeping on the couch, let me wake him.”

“Hold on a moment, I suspect he is exhausted, let me look over his other doctor’s notes and speak with you first.”

“His mum is here too, let me get her as well.”

Anne joins them in the kitchen and they answer all the doctor’s questions and explain in their own words what happened. Dr. Lintz nods, listening carefully, asking questions when needed. When they are finished, he asks if they have any questions. 

Louis tells him how Harry is still dizzy, very sleepy and seems a bit disoriented. 

“Those are all side effects and will lessen over time. The meds are what is making him drowsy because it allows for the lungs to heal.” 

“And the swelling?” 

“That is from the treatments, once he is down to one a day, it should go away.”

“How long until he is back to normal?” Anne asks. 

“That is really up to his lungs. His lung capacity has been compromised so singing and performing are going to be hard. He will have to work himself up to it, but he will be to 100%.”

“What are we looking at though?” Louis asks. He knows Harry needs to know this because he will set that goal and want to meet it. “A month, three months, a year?”

“Typically, with these types of infections, I would say six to nine months,” the doctor answers.

“When you tell Harry this, because he will ask, say nine months please,” Louis says and Anne nods. 

The doctor agrees and they go and wake up Harry for his examination who is still sound asleep on the couch. 

“Honey,” Anne says shaking Harry, “the doctor is here, it’s time to get up.” 

Harry opens his eyes and sees three people staring down at him, two he recognizes and one is a stranger. It takes him a moment to realize it is the doctor and he makes an effort to sit up, not willing to admit that he is appreciative of his mum helping him. He hates how weak he has become. 

“Hi, I’m Harry.” Harry smiles, ever one for manners. 

“Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Lintz. I will be your doctor for the foreseeable future.”

Louis watches closely as the doctor examines Harry, specifically the doctor’s face when he listens to Harry’s lungs. He grimaces when Harry is felled by a coughing fit when he has to take deep breaths and it brings him to tears. Louis quickly fetches his inhaler and puts it to Harry’s mouth trying to get him to breathe in. When the fit is over, Anne has water for him and Harry nods appreciatively. 

“Sorry about that Harry, but that is what we are fighting; you need to be able to take deep breaths without an attack, the easier it becomes means you are healing,” Dr. Lintz says.

Harry nods, but Louis gives him a glare for hurting Haz, but he understands. 

“Okay, Harry, you are healing, but you need to practice clearing your lungs twice a day, try to take big cleansing breaths, but have your inhaler nearby. I will be coming once a week to check on you, but next time I will have a machine that will measure your breaths so we can start charting it. Also, as you feel up to it, start walking around the block and gradually increase your distance. Let’s do a breathing treatment once in the morning and before you go to sleep and use your inhaler as needed. Do you have any questions?”

Harry shakes his head and thanks the doctor while Louis sees him out. The doctor informs Louis that he will update management, which is a relief to Louis. Before he goes though, Louis asks for more inhalers explaining that he wants one for each of the band members, his bodyguard and then for different rooms in the house. Louis doesn’t want to take a chance that they will be without one. The doctor said he will bring them next week and they say goodbye. 

When Louis walks back in, Anne is saying goodbye to Harry and his hearts breaks a bit when he sees that Harry has tears in his eyes. Louis gets it, he really does. When he is sick, he wants his mum to comfort him and what Harry has been through is really scary. 

Anne gives one final hug and Louis walks her to the door holding her bag. There is a car waiting for her. Louis can tell she is hesitant to leave her baby. “Now, you call me about my boy and I can be here in three hours, if needed. Also, I’m going to need daily texts with updates. I know he won’t tell me the truth and will say everything is fine.”

“I will Anne, I promise.”

“I only feel good about leaving because I know you will take good care of him. He is so lucky to have you,” Anne says giving Louis a tight hug. “Take care of my boy, Lou.”

Louis nods and watches as Anne climbs into the car. With one last wave, he closes the door and leans back. He won’t let himself tap into it, but there is fear inside of him. He knows Harry is over the biggest obstacle, but he hates that this is happening to him, he wishes it were him. He quickly schools his face and walks back to the living room ready to face their new normal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has another medical setback and scares the crap out of Louis.

Once Anne had left, they decided to put on a movie since it didn’t look like Harry would be moving off the couch anytime soon. They had a quick dinner then Louis insisted that Harry go back to bed, but when he got up; Louis had to quickly grab hold of him as Harry almost fell over. Louis was startled for sure, but knew it was a side effect. 

“Let me help you Haz, we will do another treatment and you can go to sleep in your bed.”

“I really hate this Lou, jus’ want to be better.”

“I know luv, just give it time.”

Louis carefully helped him up the stairs and after getting him situated, with the nebulizer, Louis gets ready for bed. He is not surprised when Harry asks him to stay again, in fact, he is glad that Harry does.

Louis wakes up the next morning curled around Harry, smiling when he feels Harry holding his hand. He tunes into Harry’s breathing, still hearing the wheeze and a little throttle when he exhales. Another treatment is needed, but he wants Harry to sleep as long as possible. 

Without thinking he kisses Harry’s shoulder and then his head as he tries to extricate himself to use the loo. “No, don’t leave, want you to stay with me,” Harry says with a croak. 

“I’ll be back in a minute, luv, let me use the loo.” 

Only then does Harry reluctantly release him. Louis knows he will fall back asleep and it will give him time to shower and make some food. 

Sure enough, when Louis returns, Harry is back asleep and he finds himself staring down at the young man, a fond look on his face. He reaches out to brush back some of Harry’s curls and feels the heat coming off of him. Louis frowns at that, not liking it at all. He heads down to the kitchen to make breakfast, the one meal a day he can make without burning anything. Harry is starting to get his appetite back, so he puts the kettle on and cooks up some eggs and toast for Harry and himself. 

Since Harry hasn’t made it down yet, he finds a tray, to carry everything and goes to wake up Harry.

Harry smiles appreciatively when he sees what Louis has made and starts eating slowly. The two boys don’t talk, but enjoy the silence, not something they have really had of late. Harry eats some of the eggs a piece of toast and sets the tray aside, feeling full. He stretches and takes stock of his body finding the heavy feeling still there and all of his joints feel achy. His head feels like he is coming out of hangover as well. 

“Lou, thank you.” Louis turns and looks at him with a questioning look on his face. “I really mean it. Thank you. You have been the one constant for me, you have been my rock.”

“That’s what you do Haz when you care about someone, I’m glad I could do it, really.”

“But if we weren’t roommates, would you have? I could go home with my mum.”

“Yeah, luv, I would have done it, moved in with you or had you come and stay with me. Anne asked if she should take you home, but I told her I could take care of it. Besides, I figured you would be more comfortable at home and the boys will be around this afternoon.” 

Harry scoots over closer to Louis. “Thank you,” he says and gives Louis a hug. Louis takes the moment breathing in Harry and can’t help but kiss his head, thankful that this boy who has found his way into his heart is still alive.

“How are ya’ feelin’ today?” 

“Achy and I still feel the tightness in my chest. I would love to have a bath really, maybe the warmth will take away some pain.” 

“We can do that, let me get your meds and you can do a treatment, then a bath, sound good?”

Harry nods and Louis takes their breakfast down to the kitchen, grabbing Harry’s meds on the way back up. While Harry does a treatment, he goes and draws up a bath for him, putting out towels and finding his favorite sweats and jumper to put on. 

Louis stands near Harry as he stands up and is pleased to see that Harry’s balance is a little better, there is still a wobble though.

“Do you need help?” 

“No, I think I got it. Thank you.”

“Okay, I’m putting your phone right here, so when you are done, text me and I will come help you.”

“Lou, I’m not a baby, I can do it.”

“Yes, but you get dizzy and I don’t want you to fall, please for my sake.”

Harry grouchily nods his head, knowing this is part of his new normal. He takes off his clothes and steps in the tub and thinks he could marry Louis right there, it feels amazing. He sinks down with a sigh and appreciates that he starts to feel human again. 

Louis stays on the other side of the wall until he hears Harry settle in, not wanting to take a chance, smiling when he hears Haz’s relieved sigh. With Harry occupied, he heads back downstairs to clean up and update everyone. He texts Anne, the doctor and then the boys, telling them to come over around four and bring dinner, knowing that Harry will probably nap after the bath and then after lunch. He also reviews the doctor’s notes to make sure he is not forgetting anything. 

Meanwhile, Harry feels some of the achiness ease from his body, he wants to wash his hair as well, but is too lazy to stand, so he does it sitting down and then turns on the shower head to rinse off. Starting to feel human again, he drains the tub and stands up, reaching for the towel. Just then, black spots start appearing in his vision and the room spins. He reaches for the wall, trying to climb out of the tub to sit on the toilet, but he doesn’t make it before his vision goes dark and he falls. 

Louis was just putting away the last of the dishes when he hears a thump above him. He immediately looks up, pausing. He yells for Harry, but hears nothing. It takes a moment to click and he is running up the stairs, two at a time. When he rushes into the bathroom, he sees Harry lying face down on the floor. A spike of fear takes hold in his chest and he yells Harry’s name as he sinks down next to him. His hands hover over him, not sure where to place them. He finally slides an arm under Harry’s chest and slowly, rolls him over. “Harry, Harry can you hear me?” Louis looks over his face and sees a lump on his forehead, he brushes his fingers over it, wincing, knowing it must hurt, but Harry still doesn’t move. 

“Harry love, I need you to wake up, can you hear me.” Louis is holding Harry in his arms and gently shakes him, cursing himself for leaving him alone, he should have known better. Louis wants to call the doctor, but his phone is downstairs then he spots Harry’s, the one he was supposed to use to let Louis know he is done. Louis grabs it, thankful that he put in Dr. Lintz’s number and calls. 

“Harry, to what do I owe this phone call . . .” Louis cuts him off right away. “Doc, its Louis, I’m holding Harry, he’s unconscious and I can’t wake him up. He was taking a bath and he must have fainted, what do I do?”

“Calm down, Louis. Is he breathing okay?”

“Yes, same wheeze that he had yesterday.”

“Okay, that’s good. I need you to take his pulse and compare it to yours. Is it faster, the same or slower?”

Louis puts the phone on speaker, and checks does what the doctor says. 

“Umm, mine is faster, but his isn’t really slow, steadier, I think.” 

“Good, I’m on my way over to check him. Can you get him up to the bed?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” “Good, good. I will be there in about 15 minutes, okay? Do you want to stay on the phone with me?” 

“No, no, I think I got it. Our key is under the pot on the left.”

“Okay, I will see you shortly,” and Dr. Lintz hangs up.

Louis takes a deep breath and looks at Harry. “When this is over, I’m going to knock you into next week for scaring me.” 

Just then, Louis feels tears on his face that he didn’t even realize were there. Harry has managed to scare him again. He also realizes Harry is butt ass naked; he grabs a towel and quickly dries him before lifting him up and placing him on the bed. Louis pulls on some boxers to give Harry some modesty and then pulls the covers around him. 

Louis is starting to calm down as he rubs his hand through Harry’s hair, wishing he could see those eyes and having flashbacks to five days ago. “Okay, I’m not listening to you anymore, you can’t be left alone. Come on, I need you to wake up Haz.”

“Louis, where are you? It’s Dr. Lintz.”

Louis heads to the top of the stairs, “we are up here. I’m so relieved to see you. He hasn’t woken up yet.”

Louis shows Dr. Lintz to Harry’s room and does his best to take deep breaths trying to calm himself down. He is no good to Harry like this, the doc is here and he will know what to do. Louis tries not to hover, but he can’t help it, so he climbs on the other side of the bed and holds Harry’s hand, carefully watching the doctor. 

Dr. Lintz applies external pressure to Harry’s sternum and Harry still doesn’t respond. He then lifts up Harry’s eyelids and shines a light. Still no response. He listens to Harry’s chest, heart and lungs, takes his blood pressure and then looks closely at the bump on his head and starts pressing around his head and he finally makes a noise. 

“What, what is it?” Louis asks. 

“I think Harry hit his head twice, he has another bump on the side, here.” Dr. Lintz takes Louis’s hand and he feels it, grimacing at the size. “He managed to give himself a concussion on top of everything else.”

“He does things like that. Will he be okay?”

“Yes, I want to stay here until he wakes up which should hopefully be soon, if not, I will admit him. How did it happen?”

Louis explains about the dizziness and Harry’s hard headedness with his bath. “I promise, I won’t leave him alone next time, I won’t take him at his word. Please don’t take him away. I know I can take care of him, I can,” Louis pleads.

“Son, listen to me, no one is doubting your nursing abilities. These things happen and you had everything in place to help him, he chose not to call you. He is getting better; I think the warm bath helped his lungs some, but it dropped his blood pressure a bit and he fainted. His pulse ox levels are already better than yesterday.” 

“Really?” Louis is so relieved. “Okay, can I get you some tea or coffee while we wait?” 

Dr. Lintz asks for coffee and Louis heads back downstairs finding his phone to call Paul.

“Hi Lou, how’s the patient?” “About that, he was getting better until the wanker passed out and gave himself a concussion. The doctor is with him now, but he hasn’t woken up yet and if he doesn’t, they are going to admit him,” Louis explains. Then there is silence, so much so, that he pulls the phone away from his ear to see if Paul is still there. 

“Paul?” “Shit, Lou, that’s a lot. What do you need from me?” 

“Can you update Simon and I will let you know if we have to go because we will need Paddy or Alberto.”

“Sure, I can do that. How are you doing?”

“I was good until this. He slept through the night and most of yesterday, his appetite is coming back, but stubborn Haz is still there. Christ, Paul, he scared the shit out of me. I thought he was dead. I didn’t know what to do so I called the doc. I’m going to kill him when he wakes up.” 

“It’s scary Lou, now you know how I feel when one of you get hurt. It’s what you feel when you love someone, lad. You did right to call the doc. Harry is strong, he will be okay. Call or text if you need me to come over and let me know when he wakes up.”

Louis rings off with Paul, feeling better. He sets to making coffee and texts the boys. They all respond accordingly and want to come over, but Louis doesn’t know if he can handle that right now. He asks he if can let them know and they understand. Louis is so scared that H has to go back in the hospital knowing Harry would be frightened if he wakes back up in one. 

When he brings coffee up to the doc, he sees there is no change so he settles down on the other side of the bed and waits, slowly running his hand along Harry’s arm. He talks with the doctor a bit, learning that he is an in-home doctor that works with the rich and famous. “I bet you have some stories then,” Louis says with a smile. 

“Like you wouldn’t believe, but it’s fun and the perks are good too. I can rub elbows with London’s elite,” he says with a wink.

“I don’t think of us like that, but I appreciate that we don’t have to leave to go to the doctor. We can keep it private.” 

“You and so many other people feel the same.”

They settle into silence, Louis tries to get lost in his phone, but finds himself watching Harry, listening to the slight wheezing. Louis must have dozed because he wakes to movement next to him and sees the doctor leaning over Harry whose eyes are open, his face grimacing. 

“Harry, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Don’t talk so loud, Lou, it ‘urts me head.” 

“Sorry,” Louis looks to Dr. Lintz. “Is he okay?” 

“Yes, I just finished examining him. He has a minor concussion, but the swelling has gone down. Can you get me some water, I’m going to give him some pain relievers?” 

Nodding, Louis scoots off the end of the bed and checks the time seeing that it is passed noon already. Taking a calming breath, he grabs a glass and fills it with water bringing it back to the room. Harry is sitting against the headboard, looking pale and in pain. He quickly gulps down the offered pills and leans back closing his eyes. 

“Keep the lights low today and no screen time. Try to keep him awake until this evening and all should be well. Don’t let him walk unaided and he needs to stay in bed or on the couch the rest of the day. Call me if anything changes.”

Louis walks Dr. Lintz out, thanking him profusely, relieved to say the least that things could be much worse. He is going to need backup if he has to keep Harry awake. He texts the boys and explains what’s going on and asks if they could come help. Smiling when they say they will be there within the hour. 

Walking back into the bedroom, he sees Harry where he left him with his eyes close. “Oi, Haz, wake-up, you can’t sleep, luv.” Harry opens one eye and glares at Louis, “me head hurts so bad Lou.” 

Louis’ s heart melts a bit at that and he climbs on the bed and gently rubs Harry’s head when he rolls into him. “Are you hungry?” The “ummph” tells Louis that he is and knowing he is not going anywhere; he texts the boys and asks them to grab lunch for the two of them as well. 

With that taken care of, Louis broaches the subject of what just happened, knowing Harry doesn’t want to. “Are we going to talk about it?” Harry shakes his head no, not looking up. 

“Yes, we are. You scared the ever-living daylights out of me. Haz, I thought you were dead, I didn’t know what to think and then you didn’t wake up and I was having visions of you being back in the hospital. That scared me even more. I don’t want to go through that again. Why can’t you get it through that thick skull of yours that when you do stupid shit, it scares me to death. All you had to do was call me, but you didn’t. I’m only on your ass about it because I care about you, not to make your life miserable. Please, please, for the love of all the is holy, let me help you.” 

There, Louis got it out of his system realizing that his voice was becoming louder and louder as he ranted. He looks down at Harry, but can’t see his face. 

“Haz, look at me.” Harry slowly lifts his head up and Louis’s heart shatters when he sees tears falling down Harry’s face. “Oh, luv, talk to me, please. Are you in pain?” Louis is at a loss, but he wants to fix it, that is what he does. 

“I was trying to call you, but I couldn’t reach the phone. I got dizzy and right before I blacked out, I thought of you. I knew you would be upset with me, but I couldn’t help it.”

“Oh luv,” Louis says with anguish. He brings Harry closer to his chest and kisses him on his head, then his forehead, then his nose and Harry looks up and Louis is kissing him on his lips. He pulls back realizing what he has done, locking eyes with Harry. So much communicated in that moment until Harry lifts his head up and their lips crush together. Louis doesn’t know if it is fear, relief, exhaustion, or what it is, but they kiss, and kiss, and kiss. It’s wonderful, Louis feels sparks run through his body and a tightening in his stomach. He doesn’t want it to ever end until Harry has to pull back, coughing, trying to fill his lungs with air. 

“Shit, here, take your inhaler,” Louis says all but shoving it in his mouth. He rubs Harry’s back until his breathing calms down. 

Harry is the first to speak, “well, you can say you kissed me breathless.” Louis breaks into a smile and laughs, leave it to H to break the tension. “Aren’t we a pair?” Louis says as he rests his forehead on Harry’s. “I’m sorry I got upset, I was scared.”

“It’s okay, I would be if it were you,” Harry says softly. He doesn’t want Louis to know, as amazing as the kissing was, the coughing fit is killing his head and he wants to sleep. 

“You would?” Louis asks, a hint of incredulity in his voice. Harry looks up at him and nods. “That’s how you feel when you love someone Lou and I love you.” This time Louis leans back to look Harry in the eye, wanting to make sure he is not teasing him, “You do?” 

“Yeah, ever since we met in the bathroom during our first audition, I’ve had the biggest crush on you, but I was afraid to act on it because I didn’t want to make things weird. In the hospital, I decided that life is too short, that’s why I kissed you,” Harry explains.

“Oh, thank God, because I was having all these feelings and I didn’t know if you felt the same way, but I was waiting until you were better to talk to you and do something about it. But that kiss, oh my god, the kissing is amazing and I just want to keep doing it, but I didn’t want to rush you. I’m older, mmphf.” Louis’s rant is cut off by Harry’s lips crushing his and he goes for it, only this time with more tongue and careful to let Harry breathe. So much relief is channeled in that kiss, they are slower or more passionate this time. 

When they do break away, Louis is relieved, because he needs to tell his body to calm down. They can’t afford for it to go any further, at least not now. To break the moment Louis quips, “well, that’s one way to keep you awake.” Harry lays on Louis’s chest again and laughs, nodding as well. “How is your head?”

“It hurts, but I’ll manage.” Louis knows that means more meds, but it is too soon and the boys will be there shortly. “Anytime you are up, I want someone to be there, okay?” 

Harry nods again and rolls over, “I promise.” With that settled, Louis is feeling the stress of the day and exhaustion roll over him like a fog. He closes his eyes to settle himself and he is asleep before long. 

They are laying on the bed in companionable silence when Harry hears rhythmic breathing coming from Lou. He would roll his eyes, but it would hurt. Of course, his protector is the one who falls asleep. Harry smiles at that because that is what Louis has always been to him, his protector, even in the beginning. He watches Louis sleep until he hears the boys letting themselves in with their key. Harry doesn’t trust himself to get up, but he grabs his phone and texts Niall, to come upstairs and be quiet. He scoots himself to the side of the bed, careful to not wake Lou and waits for Niall. 

Only it’s not just Niall, but Liam and Zayn as well, all with concerned looks on their faces. They look on in surprise seeing Louis asleep and Harry on the edge of the bed. Harry motions them to come over saying quietly, “he needs to sleep, but I don’t trust myself to get up. Can one of you help me get dressed and go downstairs?” 

Zayn steps forward, grabbing the clothes that Louis set out earlier, helping Harry. When Harry goes to stand, he feels the dizziness take over and he reaches for Zayn. Niall and Liam never left and Liam moves behind Harry and holds his hips until Harry comes back to himself. Harry hates this, but is thankful for the boys. He nods and they make their way down the stairs very slowly, careful to not let Harry go until they deposit him safely on the couch. “You good?” Zayn asks. 

Harry nods and tells them he is starving and for once he really is. The boys spread out food from the local deli and they dig in. 

“Are we going to talk about upstairs?” Liam asks. “What do you want to know?” Harry asks.

“Well, Lou told us you knocked yourself unconscious and need to stay awake. We expected you laying down and he flitting around you like a fly, but we found the opposite. Why is that?” 

“I think Lou crashed from the adrenaline, I really scared him. He told me he thought I was dead.” Harry looks up and the boys have a shocked expression on their faces. “I was trying to let him know I needed help, but my blood pressure crashed from the heat of the bath and just having a treatment. I blacked out and woke up in bed. Lesson learned, I guess.”

“How’s your head now?” Niall asks. “It hurts, but Lou said I can’t have any more meds until four. I just have to stay awake.”

“That we can do and we’ll let Lou sleep. How are the lungs?” Liam asks.

Harry takes a deep breath and only coughs a few times, “getting better I think.” However, he is thankful when Liam hands him his inhaler and he takes a puff. 

The boys settle down and agree to watch a “not loud movie” according to Harry so they settle on a comedy. Harry doesn’t comment, but he sees each of the boys casting glances his way during the next few hours to make sure he stays awake. He is trying, but this is the longest he has stayed awake and all he wants to do is snuggle in bed with Louis and fall asleep in his arms. Instead, he finds himself leaning his head back, closing his eyes for just a moment. 

“Harry, come on Harry, don’t fall asleep,” Liam says shaking him. Harry quickly opens his eyes again, looking at his mates, all with identical looks of concern. “Can I get some coffee or something then?” Niall heads to kitchen and the remaining boys talk with Harry, giving them updates on their families and what the tour is doing. 

Upstairs, Louis wakes up and for a moment he is disorientated until everything comes rushing back. He immediately sits up and looks around and is instantly alarmed when he doesn’t see Harry. Thinking the worst, he climbs over the bed and looks over the side, no Haz. He runs to the bathroom, but Harry isn’t there either. Then he hears voices coming from downstairs and he takes the steps two at time, worried about his boy. 

Everyone looks up at Louis when he jumps the last couple of steps, his eyes searching frantically for Harry. When he sees him, his whole demeanor changes. Crisis averted and feeling a bit embarrassed he acknowledges his other mates in the room and goes and sits next to Harry, forcing Liam to move over. “So, what are we watching?”


	3. Chapter 3

The boys stayed until midnight, helping Louis keep Harry awake. They ordered take out for dinner and fed Harry coffee to help him stay awake. When it became a losing battle, Louis texted Dr. Lintz and he said it was okay for Harry to sleep. He was so relieved and so were the boys who were planning on staying over to help in the morning. 

Louis listened to Harry’s breathing and upon hearing the wheezing, knew he also needed another treatment. That was going to be hard with Harry all, but passed out. 

“Can you all get him upstairs and I’ll grab his meds?” Liam and Zayn move to take Harry, who was not going to wake up anytime soon. Niall follows Louis into the kitchen and starts cleaning up a bit.

“You are really great with him, I don’t think I could do what you are doing,” Niall says. 

“Sure ya’ could, it is what you do when you love someone,” Louis responds.

“Like, love, love?” 

“Ya, I finally told him. After all of this, life is to damn short. It was twice in ten days that I thought I lost him, changes your perspective, I think.” 

Niall nods, understanding. It was scary for all of them. When Louis arrives upstairs, Harry is tucked into bed already, dead to the world. Louis sets up the nebulizer and slips the mask gently around Harry’s head, affectionately running his hand along his face. When he looks up, he sees his closest mates watching him. 

“Thank you,” they start to interrupt, “no, I need to say this. You know I don’t like asking for help, and I did and you came. I really appreciate all of you, it helps to know I’m not alone, so thank you.”

“Oh Lou, of course we’re going to help, he’s our mate too,” Zayn said. At that point, Louis couldn’t keep it together anymore and tears start pouring out, all he can do is cry at this point. He has kept his feelings repressed, so busy and worried about Harry. He feels the boys’ arms around him and then movement, then he realizes he is in his room and the tears keep coming. 

Liam, Niall and Zayn exchange glances over Louis’s head, they had wondered when he would break and knew it was only a matter of time. They say soothing things to Louis while rubbing his back, arms, head, but the tears keep coming. It’s breaking their hearts.

Zayn is the first the speak, “stay with him, I’m going to see to Harry and will stay with him. He shouldn’t be alone and he is still having a treatment.” Liam and Niall nod in agreement. 

Louis is hiccupping now and having a hard time catching his breath. Liam runs and grabs a glass of water. “Lou, take some deep breaths, it’s going to be okay. We got you and we’re not going anywhere,” Niall says.

“Here Lou, drink this,” Liam says as he hands the glass of water to Louis. 

Louis has no concept of how much time has passed, but he is grateful for the boys’ company and he starts to calm down. 

“You good mate?” Liam asks. Louis nods and slumps down, he is so exhausted. “Sleep, I want to sleep.” 

“Sleep we can do, let’s get you in bed.” Louis doesn’t even remember hitting the pillow.

Liam and Niall look down at him, “damn, that was rough. He never cries, always the strong one.” Niall says. 

“I knew it was bad when he asked for help so soon, we need to be their support system right now,” Liam says.

“That, we can do. Let’s move him to the middle and go to bed, I’m tired too.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Found out I had to have surgery end of May and am just now getting back to my own normal. Let me know what you think. Cheers Loves. :)

Louis wakes up in the morning feeling as if a weighted blanket is covering him as he stretches trying to wake up his brain. He looks around realizing he is in his room and not Harry’s. That thought makes his sit up quickly, looking around for his phone, he sees its already noon and his phone has been put on do not disturb. 

He thinks back to last night, not remembering how he got there, but he feels good, rested, for the first time since the nightmare began. Louis listens for Harry, remembering that the other boys spent the night and he faintly hears the congestive coughs coming from downstairs. Louis hops out of bed quickly after that and makes his way downstairs to see Zayn handing Harry his inhaler and the other two sprawled out on the couches watching the telly. 

Liam looks over, “Mornin’ or should I say afternoon.” 

“Hi, thanks for letting me sleep,” Louis says. His eyes are on Harry as he walks over to him, placing the back of his hand to his forehead. It is still a little warm. 

“How are you feelin’ today?” 

“I’m good Lou, they have been taking care of me.”

“Did you do your treatment this morning?” Harry nods. 

“Your head?” 

“It only hurts when I cough.” 

“Dizziness?” 

“No, I’m fine.”

“Actually, that part I’m going to have to disagree with. He was dizzy this morning . . .” Zayn says.

Harry narrows his eyes at Zayn, “Traitor.” He turns to Louis, “it wasn’t as bad as before, but yes, I got a little dizzy.” 

Louis looks past Harry to Zayn to see if he is telling the truth and sees Zayn nod his head. “Haz, you have to be honest with me so I can pass it on to the doctor, you can’t lie or we could have a repeat of yesterday.” 

“I know Lou, but I’m tired of this, I want to get back to normal, and what about the tour, we are disappointing our fans.” 

“Um, I think the fans would be more disappointed if you came back too soon and passed out on stage,” Liam offers. 

“Or died,” Niall says quietly. 

All four boys whip their heads around to Niall and Louis all, but yells, “Shut the fuck up, don’t even joke about that!” 

“I’m not, you weren’t there the whole time Lou, at the hospital.” Niall turns to Harry, “They don’t want to say it, so I’m going to. ‘arry, at one point, they didn’t know if you were going to make it. You were sick, then you started to get better, then you got super sick and the doctors didn’t know what was wrong. The drugs they were giving you were actually killing you. Once we found out what caused it, then you started to get better, but it was touch and go for awhile.”

Harry is appropriately chagrined, “I didn’t really think about it from your guy’s perspective, I’m sorry. I just hate that you all have to take care of me, you didn’t sign up for this and me being ill affects all of us.” 

“Oh Haz, don’t think like that, if anything, it gave us a break to rest and be healthy again and no, we didn’t want our mate to get sick and be in hospital, but that is what mates do, what family does, we take care of one another,” Zayn says. 

“So, don’t lie when you’re asked about how you feel because I sure as hell don’t want to go through any of that again. When Zayn and I started showing symptoms, it sucked, it hurt, and I was scared and ours wasn’t even as bad as you,” Niall adds. 

“M’ sorry,” Harry says softly trying to fight back tears. 

Louis claps his hands after taking the temperature of the room, a little too emotional for him. “Well, now that we have that settled, let’s watch some footie,” Louis says trying to lighten the mood. “I’m getting’ me a cuppa’, anyone else want one?” 

“I do,” Liam responds and follows Louis into the kitchen. 

Before Liam can say anything, Louis turns around, “I want to say thank you for last night, for being there. I was due for a breakdown; it was nice to have me mates with me when it ‘appened.” 

Liam nods, asking “are you doing better now because you were a bit of wreck last night?” 

“Yeah, a good night’s sleep helped a lot, but I know you and Niall stayed with me, so thanks,” Louis says and pulls Liam into a hug, but true to fashion, he pinched his nipple when he pulled away, grinning at Liam’s yelp. 

“So how was Harry this morning?” 

“He woke up around ten and was really wheezy, we hooked him up with a treatment right away and then brought him downstairs. He seems more alert and he ate more than last night, couple of eggs, toast, bacon, fruit.” 

Louis nods at that. “When you came down, that was the first time he needed his inhaler,” Liam adds. 

“Good, good. We need to get him to walk some today, some fresh air. He’s not going to like it, but that’s what the doctor said,” Louis says. 

“He’s not going to like it and we should probably call Paddy or Alberto or someone to come with us.” 

“I don’t think we should all go, maybe two of us in case he can’t make it, but ya, we should call. Can you do it?” 

Liam nods and Louis heads back to the living room with his tea and breakfast. He looks at Haz and sees his eyes already becoming heavy, he has to be exhausted from yesterday. 

Louis kneels in front of him looking him in the eyes, “Hazza, do you want to go back upstairs and nap or stay down here?” 

Harry gives him a sleepy look and points upstairs. That tells Louis what he needs to know, H is still really tired. 

Louis turns to put his cup down and Harry is already trying to stand, as soon as he is, Lou grabs him when he sees his eyes roll back. “Oi, I gotcha, stay with me.”

Zayn and Niall jump up to help as Louis sits Harry back down again. “Ya’ with me Harry?” 

Harry looks up at Louis, “sorry, I think I got up to fast.” That makes Louis laugh, “you think? Let’s try that again.” 

This time Niall and Zayn are on either side and Louis is clasping Harry’s hands. They stop for a moment when Harry is standing so he can orient himself. “You good?” Louis asks. Harry nods and they start heading to the bedroom. 

Once they get him settled in bed, Louis leaves with the final instruction, “when you wake up, your phone is right here, call or text me and I will come help you. DO NOT get up by yourself, you promised.” 

Harry harumphs into his pillow already watching the back of eyelids, but he knows he will call for Louis. 

The three boys go back downstairs. “Is it normal for him to be so sleepy all the time?” Niall asks. 

“The doctor said it is how he heals, plus the breathing treatments make him sleepy,” Louis responds. “Speaking of which, I need to call Dr. Lintz with an update, I’ll be right back.” 

Liam is still in the kitchen and tells Louis that Paddy will come, “I told him around three since Haz is resting, I hope that will work.” Louis thinks it will and calls the doctor. 

When he joins the boys, he tells them that the doctor is pleased and that Harry should stay up for longer intervals as the days go on. The boys accept this and settle down to watch a match until Harry wakes up. If Louis sneaks upstairs a few times to check on Haz, no one comments, but they all exchange a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little short chapter to link to the next part.

When Harry woke up, he dutifully texted Louis and this time Zayn went up to get him dressed, telling him they were going for a walk. 

Louis smiles because he could hear Harry’s lack of enthusiasm from the bottom of the stairs. Paddy had arrived already and was hanging out with them. He didn’t know what to think when he saw Harry, but he could tell that there he is still ill. Paddy did not like it one bit. 

Zayn had put him in a hoodie, with a baseball hat and sunglasses to hide his appearance. Louis did the same, and at the last minute put Harry’s inhaler in his pocket while Liam handed him two bottles of water. 

Niall, Liam and Zayn stayed in while they headed out and it was a short walk, but took a long time. Harry had been running four miles almost daily before this, and he was wheezing trying to walk to the corner. Neither Paddy or Louis said anything, but Louis could see Harry’s crease between his eyes and lips were pursed tight. The good news was that he didn’t seem to need the inhaler, but once they walked about 100 meters, Harry turned around and headed back. Louis let him take the lead so he could feel in charge, but both Paddy and Louis were at his heels. 

Nobody spoke, Louis more concerned with Harry and Paddy looking around making sure no one bothered them. By the time they arrived back at the flat, Harry was sweating, but didn’t ask for help. When they got to the door, Harry pulled his hood and hat off and took off his sunglasses, closing his eyes, looking up to the sky. He stood there for a moment and Louis took in the sight of him, fonding at how beautiful he is. Louis was broken out of his stupor when Harry decided to take in a deep breath and it ended up with him bending over coughing. 

Louis pulled out his inhaler and put it to Harry’s lips. “Come luv, have a puff.”

Harry did and stood up again, trying for another deep breath. This time he was successful. He turned and gave Louis a big smile and Louis’s heart melted at that moment. “Lou, I hate this, when am I going to be normal again?”

“Remember, the doctor said it would take time. This is your first walk, we will work on it a little bit at a time. I promise it will get better.” 

Harry didn’t like it, being patient was something he was not, but he needed to remind himself that he is alive. Things could be much worse. Harry didn’t acknowledge Louis’s explanation, only mumbling about needing a shower. 

Louis invited Paddy inside and to stay for dinner, but he waved the offer off and asked if they wanted him to come tomorrow at the same time. Louis thought that would be great and the two boys said goodbye. 

The other boys greeted them when they returned and congratulated Harry on his walk trying to be encouraging about making progress and the not. It didn’t settle well with Harry and he felt useless, almost like a baby with having to be taken care of, but he is also thankful that he has such good mates that they helped him out. 

“Ni, would you help me up to the shower, but not actually showering, just be near?” Harry asked not wanting to look at Louis. 

“Sure Haz, let’s go,” Niall said.

Harry looked at the other boys asking, “do you think we could have an early dinner? I’m so weak from the walk, that I want to go to bed early.”

“Sure Haz, whatever you need. We’ll get started,” Liam responds.

Once Niall and Harry are out of earshot, the three boys head to the kitchen to make dinner. Well, Louis sat on the bar stool while he watched Zayn and Liam. 

“Was that weird to anybody?” Louis asks. 

“No, I think Harry was stating what he wants and telling us how he feels. I’d much rather have him do that, then us trying to guess,” Zayn says. 

“But he asked Niall, not me for help,” Louis says. 

“Probably trying to give you a break as well, I wouldn’t think much of it really,” Liam says. 

Louis shrugs it off, hoping the two are right. 

That night finds both boys in bed, Harry dead to the world and Louis is sitting up, playing on his phone while he runs his hands through Harry’s hair. Dinner was quick because after his shower, Niall was practically carrying Harry down the stairs and he had a hard time staying awake during the meal. In fact, he did fall asleep at the end and the boys exchanged worried looks until Zayn reminded them that Harry did more today than he had since he was released from the hospital. Louis thought Harry looked super adorable when he slept, but knew it wasn’t comfortable. Liam offered to carry Harry upstairs and put him to bed and Louis was thankful for that and Harry not waking up. 

Louis said goodbye to them after they clean up and promised to keep them updated if anything new happened and joined Harry upstairs. He can’t hear any wheezing and his hopeful that no treatment will be needed tonight. After putting his phone away, and snuggling down in the covers, Louis leans over and kisses Harry before drifting off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little chapter of fluff. Harry is getting better.

The next three days went really well in Louis’s mind, not so much for Harry. He was frustrated at what he felt was his lack of progress. He got up, did his breathing exercises, ate, laid on the couch, ate, walked, ate and went to bed early. Boring, boring, boring. 

Louis was ecstatic. Harry hadn’t needed any breathing treatments; he was staying awake longer and longer and he was able to walk further each day. He always needed his inhaler after, but it was an improvement. Dr. Lintz was pleased as well when Louis filled him in on H’s progress. 

On the fourth day, Louis decided to change things up. “Haz, what do you want to do today?” 

“What do you mean, what choices do I have?” 

“Whatever you want, I know your bored and climbing the walls, tell me what you want and we will do it.” 

“Um, could we go to Regent’s Park and walk around a bit?” 

“If that’s what you want, sure, let me call Paddy and Alberto and they can drive us over there.” 

And that is exactly what they did. Louis dressed Harry in a jumper with a hood, found some sunglasses and then added a jacket on top of that in case Harry got cold. Louis, put on a hat and glasses as well, pocketing Harry’s inhaler and grabbing some waters and snacks, putting them in a bag. When he wasn’t looking, Harry slide in a notebook and pen. 

Paddy and Alberto came around soon after to pick the boys up. They asked where they wanted to be dropped off and Harry asked to be near Ulster Bridge and York Bridge. Louis didn’t question, but wondered how Harry knew the specifics or why this particular park in general. Louis had never heard of it. He let Harry take the lead and he seemed to know where he wanted to go although they walked a bit slower than normal. Soon, they entered some of the prettiest gardens Louis had ever seen. 

“Lou, can you rent some chairs for us to set up over here?” Harry asks. 

“Sure luv, are you okay?” Louis notices Harry is breathing a bit hard and his face is flushed. 

“Yeah, just a little longer than I remembered.” 

“Do you need your inhaler?” 

“Nah, just want to sit.” 

Paddy comes back with chairs for them and they set them up near the pond. 

Harry sits down with a sigh and leans back closing his eyes, a hint of a smile on his face. 

Louis looks at him, watching closely when he sees Harry breathing hard, watching as his breathing slows down. He still doesn’t know what they are doing there, but he is not complaining, his Hazza is relaxing, happy and more importantly alive so who is he to question. 

After a bit, Harry speaks up pulling Louis out of his trance because he thought he fell asleep. “Do you smell it Lou?”

“Smell what?” 

“The flowers, the roses, there’s sweet, tart, flowery, it carries on the wind, a symphony of smells.”

“What ‘cha saying, you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just using my senses. Where’s the bag?” 

Louis hands it to him and is surprised when Harry pulls out his notebook and starts writing. They relax in the sun and Harry seems content, allowing Louis to relax and lose track of time. Louis pulls out the water and hands it to Harry who takes and drink and puts it down and every so often Louis hands it to him again and the process repeats. 

“Haz, look, there is a black swan,” Louis notices as they look out over the lake. 

“Yeah, this park is known for it. They say the swans are descended down from Queen Mary’s reign. Only place in England that you will find ‘em.” 

“It’s beautiful, just like you,” Louis says quietly. 

Harry turns and gives him a smile that makes Louis melt and then he goes back to writing. Louis knows better than to ask what he is working on and doesn’t want to disturb Harry, but he is not really good at sitting still. “Would ya’ mind if I walk around a bit, explore?” 

“No, this is for you too, if you head that way, you will be in for a sight,” Harry responds. 

Louis turns to Alberto and asks if we would come with and Paddy says he will keep an eye on H, so Louis wanders. Haz wasn’t lying when he enters the rose garden. The roses seem planted in such a way that they tell a story, one that Louis isn’t sure of yet. The different smells hit him and he feels as though he is in another country, not downtown London. Louis is not a flower guy, but when he comes to the end of the path, he turns and sees a sight that is hard to describe, exquisite is what comes to mind. There are layers and layers of flowers in the foreground, in the middle and in front of him, like a 3D image, the colors blended are breathtaking painting a beautiful picture. There is no movement, but the black swan gliding on the water that looks like the mirror image on the surface. 

Louis takes a step back and bumps into Alberto, breaking his trance. 

“This is beautiful, isn’t it? I’m not a flower guy, but wow,” Alberto says. Louis nods. “I think we should get back; how long have we’ve been gone?” 

“About an hour.” 

That alarms Louis because he didn’t want to be away from Harry that long, they follow the trail out of the gardens and it circles back to where they were sitting. Paddy moved into Louis’s seat and Harry has his head leaned back, lips parted, asleep. 

“I moved up when he started to tire, didn’t want anyone to come up and disturb him. He fell asleep about 15 minutes after you left,” Paddy says. 

“We should head home, it’s pass lunch and he has to be tired,” Louis says. 

He walks up to Harry and lightly shakes him awake, “Haz, you okay? We’re going to head home now, ya’.” 

Harry pushes himself up, “didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Louis thinks he looks adorable, but refrains from voicing that. 

“You good to walk back?” 

“Yeah, help me up.” Louis does and Paddy helps pack up their things while Lou makes sure that Harry is steady, keeping his hand on his back as they walk back to the car. Thankfully, no one gives them a second look. 

He may be exhausted, but Louis can tell that today’s trip did Harry good. There is some color back in his face and he eats a big lunch before telling Louis he is going up to nap. The best thing about today’s adventure is that no inhaler was needed, a sure sign that Harry is getting better. 

Louis goes back downstairs after checking that Harry made it to bed alright and looks around, their flat noticing how messy it has become. He can’t cook, but cleaning is another story and he starts to pick up. By seven, when Harry still hasn’t come down, Louis makes sandwiches and puts one aside for Harry. By nine, Louis goes and checks on him and Harry is still out, but no wheezing in his breathing. Not sure what to do, he showers and decides to let Harry sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

When Louis wakes the next day, Harry is sitting up in bed, tea on his nightstand and his journal in his hands writing away. 

“You okay Haz, how long have you’ve been up?” 

“Woke up around 5, got some food and made tea and came back up here. I feel great Lou.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me? I would have done that for you.” 

“Lou, you don’t have to treat me like a child, I can get myself food.” 

That comment hurt and it must have shown on Louis’s face because Harry backtracked quickly, “I mean, I know you have been taking care of me and I’m so appreciative and thankful, but I’m getting better and I was careful. I wasn’t dizzy or anything. I need to start doing things on my own, I want to get back to normal.” 

Louis processes what he says, he is not made or even hurt, in fact he is happy that Harry is better, but he knows him. “Did you have to take your inhaler after you climbed the stairs?” 

Harry looks down and sighs, a cough escapes and that is the answer that Louis needs. “I thought so, do you need a treatment?” 

“No, I’m good, I wasn’t thinking and I ran up the stairs like I always do, did, and it took a minute to catch my breath.” 

“That’s okay, you knew what to do and ya’ didn’t need me,” Louis says. 

That made Harry look up. “Lou, I will always need you, but I don’t want to be a burden.” 

“Come ‘ere.” 

Harry puts his stuff down and shifts over to Louis, laying down so they are face to face. 

“Ya’ are never a burden because I love you and I want to take care of you. I hate that this happened, but if me looking over you gives you some relief, then I will do just that,” he says running a finger down the side of Harry’s face. 

Harry smiles and Louis is looking at Harry’s lips and leans forward, placing a gentle kiss. But that wasn’t enough and he took Harry’s lips again, slowly opening his mouth and exploring with his tongue. Harry’s grip tightens and Louis is up against Harry’s taut body. Both boys are aroused, but Louis doesn’t want to go too far, strenuous exercise is still a ways away according to the doc. So he pulls away from Harry’s mouth and starts kissing down his jawline, nibbling behind his year. 

“Oh, Lou,” Harry gets out, but Louis keeps going, putting his hands under Harry’s shirt and rubbing his hands over Harry’s chest. 

Harry hadn’t realized how much he missed Louis touching him and he melts into his hands, loving every minute, but not knowing how much more he can take. 

“Hazza, I love your body,” Louis says a bit breathless, “but we need to stop, for both our sakes.”

Harry lets out a whine, “I assure you, that if you were healthy, we would not be stopping, but this is me taking care of you,” Louis says now resting his forehead on Harry’s. He kisses his nose and gets up. 

Trying to change the subject as Harry is now sprawled on his back, his joggers showing the result of their make out session. “So, what are we doing today?” 

“Could we go to Kew Gardens?” 

“Sure Sun, whatever you want?”

And that is what they did. Louis didn’t want to question why Harry wanted to go to another garden, this time Louis packed snacks and his own notebook. 

When they arrived, Harry directed them to the Japanese Gardens and then laid out a blanket he brought for them to lay down on. He did the same as before, laid in the sun and then he took out his notebook and started writing. 

Louis didn’t know how Harry knew about two beautiful places, but he wasn’t complaining as long as Harry was happy and was getting back to normal. They soon ate lunch with their guards and then Harry asked Louis to come with him, but wanted Paddy and Alberto to stay there. No one was around so they complied.

Harry took Lou’s hand and led him through the gardens showing him different parts and scenes. “It’s a story Lou, do you see it?” 

Louis was not one to stop and smell the roses, but he actually did and seeing it through Harry’s eyes made it that much better. 

“Look at the juxtaposition between the metal and glass elements as they collide with the natural environment,” Harry says. 

Louis looks at him with a start, seeing a side of Harry he hadn’t seen before. He knew Harry was smart, but he didn’t know he liked gardens. 

“I like it here, rigidness is smoothed by beauty, it inspires me,” Harry continues.

What Louis was inspired to do was kiss Harry because at that moment, his smol bean was adorable and after looking around, he led Harry to a covered arbour and did just that. 

When they joined Paddy and Alberto again, Louis encouraged them to walk around because they hadn’t seen a soul there and Harry started writing again. Louis thought he would, but instead turned on his side and watched Harry until he felt himself being shaken awake. 

“Louis, wake up, we have to go, it’s gonna’ rain,” Harry said. 

One of London’s predictable afternoon showers was coming and they needed to pack up quickly or they would be caught in it. 

They ran to the car, no one thinking where Harry was two weeks ago, they ended up being drenched and once they were safe in the confines of the car, time seemed to catch up with Louis when he noticed Harry was wheezing heavily. 

Fear jumped up in Louis’s chest as he pulled out the inhaler and gave it to Harry for some puffs, saying soothing words to him. Harry’s eyes were wide open and he was scared as he took the inhaler, Louis holding on to his wrist and the other hand at the back of his head. 

Slowly, Harry’s breathing calmed down, but he kept coughing. All of sudden, Louis remembered what the doctor said about pneumonia and here was Harry in wet clothes, a spike of fear shot itself up his spine. 

He looked around and saw his bag in the back and grabbed it, pulling out a jumper and towel from his last workout. Harry didn’t know what was happening when Louis all but yanked his shirt off and started drying him. When it was the best he could do, he pulled the jumper over Harry’s head and then he felt like he could relax a bit. 

That is when he noticed the car wasn’t moving and everyone was looking at him. 

“What? He’s wet and can’t get sick, I was trying to help,” Louis explains. 

Harry, who is has some color back in his cheeks, smiles and says, “Thanks, mum.”

When they returned to their flat, Louis could tell Harry was sleepy, after thanking the guys, they headed to the bedroom, changing out of their wet clothes and then Louis insisted on a breathing treatment. Harry was honestly a little afraid of “Mother Hen Lou” so he went along with it while Louis called Dr. Lintz and filled him in on what happened. After many reassurances, the doctor said Louis did everything right and he would come over tomorrow to do a check-up. 

When Louis returned, Harry was already sound asleep and Louis listened for any wheezing, hearing none, he showered and climbed into bed himself feeling the exhaustion of the day slowly slip away.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thing are going better for Harry until they are not.

Harry was getting better and he needed his inhaler less and less, although Louis made sure it was always close by. The boys came over often and they would play video games, eat and make messes. Louis didn’t mind because when they were there, he could do chores and order groceries. Of course, the occasional cough would have all of them watching him in alarm and Harry would look up chagrined saying “I was only clearing my throat.” 

Harry was able to make it throughout the day without naps, even after they went for their walks. They didn’t call their guards anymore, happy to kind of have their own schedule. Each time they went, Harry was able to go longer and that made Louis happy. 

Now that they were three weeks out from the accident, Paul was receiving pressure from above to see when Harry could go back on tour. They were thinking that they would pick up at the next date and then they would go back and play the ones they missed, adding to those dates to the end of the tour. Harry felt awful that he was postponing everything and disappointing the fans, taking to Twitter to apologize, highly encouraged by the positive comments and understanding. It’s not like he asked for this to happen, and he is really trying his best to get back to 100%. 

Since he was progressing well, management thought they could work on their next album during his recovery and the tour would not be as stressful when they continue it. Harry loved that idea because he wanted to keep writing, but the one thing he hadn’t done was try to sing. 

He was talking about it with the boys and Liam texted Paul, one thing led to another and their vocal coach was set to arrive the next day. Harry was excited at the prospect because normal to him, included singing. Louis didn’t try to hide his smile at seeing his boy happy again. 

Harry already had the door open when he heard the buzzer at the gate, greeting Katie. Louis wanted to give them privacy, but before he did, he set out water and Harry’s inhaler before going upstairs and leaving them to it. 

Downstairs, Harry was excited and Katie had him start with voice warm ups. It was rough, but Harry could feel his lungs expanding as he took in deep breaths, only coughing a few times. The rest of the session went really well and Harry was able to hit even a few high notes. He didn’t actually sing a whole song, but it was a start. 

After Harry saw Katie out and promised to see her in two days, he ran upstairs to find Louis who was in his room. 

“Lou, I did it! I didn’t even need my inhaler once. It felt so good to sing, well not really singing a whole song, but to hear my same voice,” Harry says jumping on the bed. 

Louis watches him with a smile on his face, fonding at how cute Harry is being. 

“Wait, why are you in here?” Harry stops jumping and collapses next to Louis. 

“Um, well, you are on the mend, thought I would return back to my room to give you some privacy.”

“Oh,” Harry says, not hiding the crestfallen look on his face. Louis takes it in, “unless you don’t want me too.” 

Harry looks at him with a big smile, “I kind of like it when we share a bed, but only if you want too.” 

“Of course, but I didn’t want to impose, it’s your space in all,” Louis explains. 

“But, isn’t that what boyfriends do? Share a bed?” Harry asks suddenly really uncertain. 

Louis sits up, looking Harry in the eye. “Is that what you want to be and proper-like?” 

“I thought we were proper-like, I thought you were my boyfriend, I mean I love you and you said you love me and we do stuff and kiss . . . ugh.” Harry doesn’t have time to finish because Louis has thrown himself on top of Harry, pulling him into a kiss. 

When Louis pulls him away, he sees Harry’s beautiful eyes, flushed cheeks, and red lips and he has never seen a more beautiful person than his Harry. “You are my boyfriend as long as you’ll have me Haz,” Louis whispers and then kisses him again only this time, he moves down the side of Harry’ s neck and marks his territory. They boys don’t’ leave the bed for the rest of the night. 

Katie continues to visit and Harry’s voice is becoming stronger and stronger each time. He makes it through most of the songs, but a few give him a hard time. “What Makes you Beautiful” is one of them. He doesn’t have the breath control to sing the bridge. Katie leaves him with breathing exercises, which he dutifully does hoping that it won’t take too long. 

With Harry’s almost 100%, they start recording his parts in the studio and he is so happy to be back. However, as much as he tries to give his best, the producers aren’t happy with what they are hearing. After one tough bridge, Harry can see the disappointment on their faces. 

“I’m sorry, I really am trying, but I can’t get it there yet,” Harry says. 

“We know, let’s take a break,” one of the producers says. 

Harry feels awful, knowing it is not his fault and Louis sees how upset he is when he comes out of the booth, but doesn’t have time to console him because he is being called to do in next. 

Louis picks up his earphones and hears the producers speaking. They are new to the band and don’t really know the guys that well, but to Louis that is no excuse. 

“I thought the curly one was the best; he can’t even hold a high note.” 

“He is, but he got sick. He’ll get back there.”

“I heard he was faking it so they could take a break.”

“No, it’s real. He almost died, cut him some slack.”

“Well, I’m not impressed, he is wasting our time, really everyone’s time. He may have written some of this, but I think we need to drop him and move on with the four. . .”

Louis had heard enough. Rage floods through his body and he is furious. How dare this guy, Dan, he thinks, say these things. He wasn’t there, he didn’t see what happened. How close they were to losing Harry. He rips off his earphones and leaves the booth slamming the door. The other four boys look up in shock and based on Louis’s expression they know something went down. 

“Li, come with me. You all get your things together, we are leaving.” 

“But . . .” Zayn tries to say. Louis cuts him off. “We are leaving when I’m through.” 

Louis only has about five seconds to tell Liam that he needs to keep Louis from killing the producer, all Liam can do is nod. Louis slams into the sound booth.

“How fucking dare you,” he says. Not yelling, but not disguising the venom in his voice. 

Both men look up in shock at the intrusion, “What are you talking about? You can’t come in here and say that,” Dan says.

“The hell I can’t, like you can’t say those things about Harry. He is not replaceable and he has more talent in his pinky finger than you do in your entire existence, but you won’t get to see because we will not be recording anymore with you here.” 

The two producers look at each other, stunned. Dan stands up, towering over Louis, “are you leaving then?” 

“Yes, and we will come back when you are gone.” 

“I like to see management agree to that. Your guy is wasting our time, he is your weak link. The sooner you see that the better, then you can move on,” Dan says.

“Dan,” the other producer says. “That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? There are already rumors he’s a fag and he can’t sing, dump him,” Dan says.

Louis is so angry, he is shaking, but before he can do anything Liam punches Dan, “Don’t you dare say that about Harry, or any of us, we’re leaving.” Liam says standing over Dan who is on the ground rubbing his jaw. 

Louis is shocked, but looks to the other producer. “Thanks for standing up for Haz, you’ll hear from management,” he says and they walk out. 

The other three boys are standing there with their things, mouths open, after witnessing Liam deck the guy. 

A laugh escapes Louis’s mouth, “Close your mouths, you’ll catch flies. Come on, I need to call Paul, we are done for the day,” and he walks out. 

Liam looks at the guys, rubbing his hand, he sees the questions in their eyes. “Not here, come on, let’s go. We need to get ahead of this.” He motions to the guys to head out, and places his hand behind Zayn, getting them to the door.

Louis is already in their car on the phone with Paul telling him what went down. He had already gotten the worse part out and when he relayed to Paul that the guys were coming, he told Paul he would call back when he could speak more freely. 

On the other end of the phone, Paul was reeling. Feeling bad for Harry, anger for Dan’s comments, furious that he would call Harry such a horrible name. Paul is not stupid; he has suspected for a while that Harry didn’t like girls and now, he is pretty sure that Louis and Harry are a thing. The two boys are adorable together and he would do whatever is necessary to protect them and he knows it would break Harry’s heart if he found out what transpired. That would not do anybody any good. Deciding that this needed to escalate to Simon, he makes the call. 

Simon listens to Paul and draws in a breath when he hears what happened, gripping the phone tightly when he hears the slur. After thanking Paul, he tells him he will take care of it. 

Personally, he thought it may be too soon for Harry to be recording, but he wanted to trust Harry’s judgment, he knew his limits. Katie had said he was making progress, but it would take time. Five weeks ago, he was dying for God’s sake. Priorities needed to change and they needed to change now. He makes the call and Dan will have a hard time ever working in this industry again if Simon has anything to say about it. 

While Paddy drives everyone back to Louis’s and Harry’s flat, Harry is beside himself. He knows that whatever made Louis mad had something to do with him because that’s Louis’s way. He only acts like that when someone attacks one of the boys, but for Liam to punch someone, he knows it had to be really, really bad. Everyone is silent on the drive back and Louis is bristling and his heavy breathing is starting to slow down, but Harry’s is speeding up. 

He hears Zayn whisper something to Liam and Liam nod, Niall’s face alternates from fear to shock and Paddy is gripping the wheel. 

So many thoughts are running through Harry’s mind, his biggest enemy is his own brain. He knows he wasn’t the greatest today, but he thought everyone understood. He really is doing his best; he is so much better than he was even a week ago. He feels his heartbeat increase and his breaths are coming faster. It takes him a moment to realize what is happening and he feels his pockets for his inhaler, but it’s not there. 

He looks for his bag, and reaches down to go through the pile and doesn’t see it. Starting to panic a little more now. None of the boys had realized Harry’s predicament, but he needs help. Harry’s tries to speak, but can’t form the words. It is getting harder and harder to breathe, so he moves his arm to get Louis’s attention by bumping him. 

“Not know, Haz, we’ll talk at home,” Louis says. 

Harry looks at Louis begging him to look at him, how can he not hear him? He smacks him again, but he is starting to see spots in front of his eyes and he knows he is close to passing out. 

“Harry, I said . . .” Louis tries to say before he has a lapful of Harry. 

Louis looks at Harry’s face and then his hears register Harry’ s breaths. 

“Oh shit, Harry stay with me, stay with me. Where is his inhaler?” Louis asks, patting his pockets and he feels it. 

By now the boys have turned around and see what’s going on. 

Louis pulls out the inhaler and puts it to Harry’s mouth, but Harry doesn’t move to take it, so Louis does it for him. 

“Come on Haz, I’m going to press your puff, take a breath,” Louis says, not hiding his fear. 

His other hand is rubbing Harry’s forehead as he does a puff, hoping something will get in his lungs. Nothing, but septum coming out of his mouth. He leans Harry over and cleans out his mouth and tries again. Harry’s eyes are closed and little shots of fear are making themselves known in his chest. Louis hears talking around him, but nothing is registering. 

Louis presses the inhaler again, “Come on, come on, breathe damnit, just breathe,” Louis begs. 

He sits back and watches, hearing the gasping breathes become more and more shallow, noticing Harry’s lips turning blue. “Hospital,” Louis tries to say. 

“Hospital!” Louis says louder. 

“Lou, we are already on our way,” Liam says. 

“He’s lost consciousness, he’s going to stop breathing, are we close?” Louis cries out. 

“About a minute out, we’ve called ahead already,” Paddy says. 

Louis looks down then and sees Harry’s chest is hardly moving. “Oh luv, please breathe, please, don’t leave me, I need you, we need you. Come on Haz, you have to fight, please baby.” 

He looks up at the other boys and they all have tears on their faces and then they pull to a stop. It is pandemonium for moment as they pull Harry away from Louis and put him on a stretcher, wheeling him into the hospital. Louis can only sit and watch.


	9. Chapter 9

With Harry’s absence, his lap feels empty, cold, as if a piece of himself is missing. Louis doesn’t hear anything, only a rushing noise and time is slowing down for him. He knows in the back of his mind that he should be doing something, but he can’t for the life of him think what it is. 

Seeing that Louis has blanked out for a moment, Zayn climbs in front of Louis and puts his hands on either side of Louis’s face, looking him the eyes. “Lou, Lou, look at me, snap out of it. We need to get to Harry,” Zayn says

Louis still doesn’t respond and finally, Zayn slaps his cheeks, causing the other boys to flinch. He feels a moment of guilt, but pain stimulation must work because he sees the moment Louis comes back to himself. 

“Lou, you with me? We need to go see to ‘arry. Do you think you can do that?”

Louis shakes his head to break through the fogginess, seeing Zayn standing in front of him. He nods in understanding and Zayn pulls him to his feet and out of the car, joining Niall and Liam already outside. 

Paddy calls out that he will park the car, telling them to stay put. 

Liam puts his hand on Louis’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “He’s where he needs to be Louis. Haz will get help and we will take him home,” Liam says. 

All Louis can do is nod, many thoughts going through his head because he doesn’t even know how things went pear shaped so fast. One minute they are recording, the next he is taking a lick out of the producer and now they are at the hospital. That thought gets Louis’s attention, he pulls out his phone and calls Dr. Lintz who picks up immediately. 

He explains the situation and looks around for the name of the hospital, Dr. Lintz tells him he is on his way and he has privileges there. Paddy walks up then and the boys head inside. The front desk doesn’t know anything yet, and directs them to the waiting room. Paddy looks at all the people and turns to the nurse, explaining that he is going to need somewhere a little more private for the boys to wait. 

That gets her attention when she looks up and over to the four boys standing there impatiently. Paddy sees when the recognition dawns on her face as she turns to him, nodding in understanding.

“Follow me please,” the nurse responds and Paddy thanks her. 

The five of them are shown into another waiting room, before leaving the nurse tells them that she will ask someone to come in and give them an update. 

With the boys secure, Paddy pulls out his phone and texts Alberto that he needs him to come to the hospital. For the next call, he looks up at the boys, none of them seem to be paying him any heed when he steps out for a minute and calls Paul. 

“Paul, we’re at the hospital. Harry had an asthma attack and he passed out. Inhaler didn’t work,” Paddy explains.

“Oh shit, okay. What do you know?” Paul says. 

“Nothing yet, we are in a private waiting room. Texted Al, he is on his way. Look, it’s not my place, but whatever went on in the studio, it did a number on the boys,” Paddy says.

“Yeah, I know. They called me and told me. Seems one of the producers thinks Harry shouldn’t be in the band. Said some bad things, called Harry an offensive slur . . .”

“What, did H hear ‘em?” Paddy asks. 

“No, but Louis and Liam did. Look, you need to get Liam’s hand checked out too, he punched the guy.”

“Wow, okay, well, he did what I want to do right now. I see to it. Are ya’ going to come down?”

“Yes, give me a minute, I need to make a call and I’ll be there. Has anyone called Anne?”

“No, we just got here. Louis was a bit out of it for a minute, shock, I think.”

“Okay, let me know if you have any updates before I get there, see you soon.”

After Paddy and Paul hang up, Paddy texts Simon with the newest development. 

Simon texts back, “Does he know about the name?” 

“No, think he was upset that he was the reason they were leaving. He doesn’t know why though.”

“Thank God for small favors, don’t let him find out. It would devastate him. Keep me posted.” 

With that, Paul heads out. 

Back in the waiting room, Paddy asks Liam to come with him. He knows Liam wouldn’t admit anything so he reaches for Liam’s hand and squeezes, instantly seeing the grimace on Liam’s face. 

“Come with me, we need to get that checked out,” Paddy says.

Before Liam argues, Paddy cuts him off, “Do I need to prove the point again?” 

Knowing defeat Liam hangs his head, but asks if Niall can come with him. They go back and see the nurse again, explaining that they need to get an x-ray for Liam. She nods, knowing better to question and has them follow them back to a room. As they walk by other patient beds, they catch sight of Harry. There is a nurse and doctor next to him and Harry is hooked up to several monitors and has an oxygen mask on his face. All three of them are shocked at the paleness of Harry’s face.

“Is he okay?” Liam asks. 

The doctor looks up. “Who are you? You shouldn’t be back here.”

“I’m a patient, that’s my mate, my brother, we came in with him,” Liam says. 

The doctor looks at their faces and sighs in resignation. “We were able to reverse the attack with steroids and he is breathing on his own. We did a breathing treatment and he is on oxygen,” the doctor explains.

“Has he woken up?” Niall asks. 

“No, it took a toll on his body. He is sleeping and should regain consciousness soon. Now, gentlemen if you will excuse us.”

That was a relief to everyone and the nurse shows Liam to an empty bed. 

Paddy feels comfortable to leave them, but makes sure they are okay and he tells them he will rejoin them when Paul and Alberto come. 

Once he heads out, Liam looks to Niall. 

“Were you scared?”

“Shitless, I felt like we were back in the States reliving that again.” 

“Me, too,” Liam says.

“Are you going to tell me what happened in the studio, I feel like I’m in the dark here.” 

Liam explains everything and sees Niall’s face blanche when he repeats the slur that Harry was called. When Liam finishes, it takes a minute for Niall to process everything, then it clicks.

“Is that why we’re here? Niall asks, but Liam looks at him questioningly. “Your hand, you hurt it when you hit that fucker?” Niall asks. 

“Ya, I may have broken something in his face, but maybe something in my hand too. Didn’t want to admit it hurt with everything going on, but it hurts like hell, thanks for coming with me by the way.”

“No problem, next time, call me in there, I’m always up for a good scrap. I’m glad you did it. Haz doesn’t deserve any of this, it’s not like he asked for this to happen,” Niall says. 

Liam nods and they wait for the doctor.

In the waiting room, Paddy has come back and fills Louis and Zayn in on Harry’s condition. Both boys let out a relieved sigh. When Paddy was gone, Louis told Zayn what happened and his reaction was similar to Niall’s. Zayn was livid and was pacing because he really wanted to hurt something, or someone specifically. 

Paul and Alberto come in then and Paddy quickly updates them, then heads out to be with Liam and Niall. They have no idea if word got out where the boys are, but they don’t want to take a chance leaving anyone unattended. 

“I don’t know who we need to talk to, but I don’t want to work with that guy again,” Zayn says while still pacing. 

“It’s already handled, I called Simon. You boys won’t be seeing him again,” Paul says. 

Louis and Zayn look up at that, a myriad of thoughts running through Louis’s mind. One is being thankful that at least everyone agreed with that. Now that Louis knows Harry will be okay, he is calming down, but still wants to see him. Another thought also occurs to him and although it is one of the things he hates most about the job, he suggests it. 

“Paul, the last statement we issued about Harry was that he was home and resting. We never told people what happened. I think we need to do a band interview sans Harry and explain what is going on; it will go a long way to shut down the naysayers and help the fans understand what we are dealing with,” Louis says. 

Louis looks to Zayn and sees Zayn slowly nod his head, thinking through the idea. He knows Zayn hates interviews more than Louis. 

Paul looks at the two boys contemplating, “You think Niall and Liam will be on board?” 

Louis and Zayn lock eyes and nod yes. 

“Okay, once we get Harry squared away, I’ll make some calls and see what we can set up. This is going to knock back H’s recovery, I think,” Paul says. 

“It will, he was almost about to sing our songs the whole way through, just couldn’t reach the high notes. Not only will he have the physical setback, it will be mental as well. This isn’t going to be easy,” Louis says with such conviction and maturity that all three guys look at him. 

The door opens then and Dr. Lintz walks in and Louis stands up, walking over to him when Paul and Alberto make a move to protect. None of the guys in the room have met him yet. 

“Dr. Lintz, thank you so much for coming, how’s Harry?” Louis asks. 

“He will be fine, I just left his room. He is sleeping and we are keeping him on oxygen. His pulse ox levels are a little low so I want to keep him over night and then he can go home.”

Dread fills Louis, “Where are his levels?” 

“Low 90s, nothing like before. That’s typical after an attack. Might I inquire, was this due to physical exertion or did it just happen?” 

“Not physical, we were in the studio and he wasn’t able to hit the high notes. We told the producers that, but they weren’t satisfied. Said some shit they shouldn’t have and Liam and I got mad. Harry doesn’t know what was said, but he was upset by it. We left shortly after and he had an attack in the car. I couldn’t get his inhaler to him fast enough,” Louis explained. 

“I see, it sounds like it could be a little bit of both. Physical from singing and pushing his lungs and mental. I hope that these producers were corrected for their mistake . . .” Dr. Lintz trails off looking at Paul and Alberto. 

“Believe me, they were,” Paul says. 

“Good, good. Let me take you all to him.” Dr. Lintz asks. 

They leave the room and follow Dr. Lintz through more winding hallways until they arrive at a closed door. “He is resting comfortably, the steroids make him sleepy as well, don’t be alarmed if he doesn’t wake up for awhile.” They nod and file in, but Dr. Lintz holds Louis back. 

Louis looks at him in question, “Louis, how do you feel Harry is doing emotionally, have you seen anything that has concerned you?” 

“I mean,” Louis thinks as he rubs his hand on the back of his neck, “he wishes he was healing faster, but he has been in good spirits, especially when he started working with our vocal coach.” 

“I see, I’m concerned that he got himself worked up enough to trigger an asthma attack. You said he didn’t know what was said, but he knew it dealt with him?” 

“Yes.”

“Do things typically get him that worked up?”

“Well, ya, but not to this extent. He may become sad, or be quiet for a bit, or he will become angry. Usually he goes and exercises to work it off. Doc, why are you asking?”

“I’m thinking that while he mends, it may be a good idea to prescribe something to help him, to cope with everything.” 

“Like anti-depressants? I can tell you now, he won’t like it. He hates taking any prescriptions.” 

“Not anti-depressants per se, something to take the edge off so he doesn’t get himself so worked up.”

“Well, you can bring it up, but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t go for it.” 

Dr. Lintz nodded and opened the door for Louis. Not sure what he was going to see, he took in the room and saw Zayn next to the bed and Paul and Alberto sitting on the couch by the wall. It wasn’t until Louis walked up to stand next to Zayn that he looked at Harry. 

The sight made him sad, and brought back memories that he was trying to forget. His heart hurt as he took in the boy who owned his heart. With a practiced eye, he looked for the pulse oxy monitor and saw that Harry’s was at a 94. He nodded to himself and without thinking put his hand up to brush a stray curl from Harry’s head. 

Leaning forward he whispers, “Oh, Haz, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice sooner. I’ll do better, I promise.” Louis kisses his head and stands up, looking around the room. 

Zayn had looked down, feeling like he was intruding on a private moment and Paul and Alberto were quietly talking. Not sure what else to do, he pulls up another chair and does what he has done more of in the last six weeks, he waits at Harry’s bedside.


	10. Chapter 10

Seeing that things were settling down, Paul stands up and announces he is going to check on Liam and Niall. It also allows him a chance to speak to Simon and give an update. Alberto also stands and heads out, taking up a post outside the door. 

“Hard to see him like that again, wish the kid could catch a break,” Alberto says. 

“I know, but this time I can deal with the person who caused it,” Paul answers. 

Alberto just harrumphs and nods, knowing that Paul will protect his boys. 

Paul dials, “Simon, hey, we just got to see Harry. Pulse ox levels fell, but are rising again. The doc wants to keep him overnight, he is sleeping now and probably will until tomorrow.”

He hears a sigh through the phone. “Damn, poor kid,” Simon says. 

“Also, we think Liam broke his hand when he punched the asshole. I’m going to check on him now. You need to know that this is going to set Harry back a bit.”

“Damn, Liam punched the guy?” Simon asks.

“Yeah, he was supposed to be there to hold Louis back.”

“It must be bad to ruffle Liam, let me know about his hand and make sure the boys know, I don’t care about the tour or how long it takes for Harry. There is no time clock. I made sure to let management know we will be postponing everything. He should have never been in the studio to begin with.”

“Another thing, Louis suggested that the boys, without Harry, do an interview and let the public know everything. He wants to be open and honest, thinking that will take some pressure off Harry to get back out there. Thoughts?” 

“I think it could work; I’ll get back to you. Keep me posted on things there.”

The hang up and Paul goes to find Paddy, Liam and Niall, still down in A and E. 

“How’s ‘arry?” Niall asks. 

Paul tells them what he knows and then looks to Liam who is icing his hand. “What’s the prognosis?” 

“Stress fracture, they are going to splint it and we’ll be up,” Liam explains.

“Any pain?” 

“Yeah, but I can manage,” Liam says, but looking at Paul’s face, “Really, I can. I don’t want the heavy stuff. Just some over the counter. They said to ice it regularly and that’s what I’ll do.”

“If you’re sure, I don’t want two of you to be miserable,” Paul says. 

“I’ll keep an eye on him, P. Make sure he doesn’t overdo it. Text us Harry’s room and we will be up,” Niall says. 

“Alright, grab some food before you come,” Paul says and heads out, texting Simon that Liam’s hand was broken after all. 

Back up in Harry’s room, Zayn and Louis are both lost in their thoughts, neither speaking. Louis is holding Harry’s hand, guilt wracking him to the core. He hates that Haz is back in the hospital because of something that could have been prevented. 

As though he could read his thoughts, Zayn speaks up quietly saying, “Your guilt is coming off of you in waves. It’s not your fault and you know Harry would say the same thing. The guy was an ass, a bully, if it wasn’t Haz, he would have said something to one of us.” 

Louis looks at Zayn, he may not speak much, but when he does, he is like a wise old owl. Very astute. “I know Z, I wish it was me though.” 

“And then Harry would be having the same conversation with me, wishing it was him. You two are so much alike, it’s scary, really.”

Louis chuckled at that, “Ya’ he would be. After last time, I was prepared to not step foot in another hospital for a long time, but here we are again.” 

Zayn nodded and the boys fell off into a comfortable silence again. 

As the sun set, Liam, with a cast on his hand, Niall and Paul came back with food for everyone and Paul strongly encouraged everyone to head home and come back in the morning, including Louis; but Louis was adamant on staying. 

He couldn’t quite put it into words, but going home without Harry wasn’t going home at all. Home is wherever Harry is and that is where he would be. Paul sighed, realizing he was losing the battle and agreed, but one of the guards had to stay too. Louis didn’t like that either and wanted them to go home and rest as well, but there was no persuading Alberto. He loved Harry like a son and he was staying. With that decided, the rest of the boys left and Louis continued his vigil.

The beeping is the first thing that registered, then the smell, next was the heavy weighted feeling throughout his body and finally a pressure on his arm. His eyes were crusty and felt sealed shut as he worked to open them. It took Harry a minute to realize that he was not staring at his bedroom ceiling. Turning his head to the side, he realized he was wearing an oxygen mask and was in the hospital. 

A shot of fear ran through him, not remembering what was the reason for him being there. He had no concept of time and that alarmed him, looking down he saw a head of someone he recognized. Lou, sound asleep. His soft snores providing the comfort Harry needed. Of course, he would be there, but Harry wanted him closer. He moved his arm that Louis was laying on, causing the older boy to wake up.

“Harry, you’re awake.” Louis said popping up, eyes wide and bright. “You need anything?” Louis asked. 

Harry couldn’t really speak yet, so he nodded his head and then padded the bed. Louis looked down realizing what Harry wanted as Harry shifted over to make room. 

Louis climbed into bed, laying on his side and brought Harry into his arms. He didn’t fall asleep until he heard Harry’s breathing even out and Louis followed shortly after.


	11. Chapter 11

“Should we wake ‘em?” Niall asks in a whisper. 

“Nah, let them sleep. There’s no telling how their night went. Let’s try to sleep as well,” Zayn says. 

When Harry wakes a second time, he hears the familiar snores of Louis who is up tight against his side, but underneath that he can hear whispering from the boys. Content and not wanting to open his eyes, he focuses on what they are saying. 

“Yeah, Simon went off, Paul said.”

“Paul did too though. You didn’t see him, he was livid.”

“That guy won’t be working around us again.” 

“Can’t believe he said those things about Haz, out of all of us, he’s the kindest, warmest out of everyone. He would never hurt anyone unless they were hurting his loved ones.”

“But’s that what we did, someone hurt ours and we protected. How’s the hand Li?” 

“It hurt more than he let on, had to give ‘im the heavy stuff so he could sleep,” Niall says.

“It wasn’t that bad, but it’s feeling better today,” Liam says. 

“I wish it had been me in there, I probably wouldn’t have stopped with one,” Zayn says. 

“So, did Paul say anything else?” Niall asks. 

“Yeah, he said that Simon wants Harry to rest and that the management people who pushed him into recording to soon are in big trouble as well. So, no touring until Harry is back to 100%,” Zayn says. 

“Good, that’s the way it’s supposed to be,” Liam says. 

Harry feels guilt overtake him. Liam is hurt because of him, he’s in the hospital and they feel obligated to be there, he disappointed the fans, Simon is involved, Louis is worried and exhausted. Why does his body keep failing him? Too many thoughts of self doubt and guilt run through his mind. He doesn’t even realize he is getting worked up as the emotions overtake him, but the boys notice. 

They hear the heart monitor increasing first, causing them to look over at the machine and then down at Harry. Then they notice his chest rising and falling quickly and breath fogging up the oxygen mask. 

“Louis, wake up mate!” Zayn says, causing Louis to wake up with a start and look around with confusion and then down at Harry. Immediately seeing what is happening, he scrambles off and reaches over, pressing for the nurse. 

“Harry, Harry, can you hear me, calm down, match your breathing with mine,” Louis says holding Harry’s hand to his chest. 

Harry’s eyes are open wide and he looks with fear at the boys, then at Lou, trying to do what Louis says. The tightness of an attack is there and it hurts, he wants to take deep breaths, he is trying, it hurts. All he feels like he can do is close his eyes and wait it out, he is so tired. 

“No, keep your eyes open Luv, come on you can do it,” Louis says. 

The nurse comes in and asks the boys to step back as she administers some medicine into Harry’s IV and then adds something to his oxygen. Louis, recognizing what is happening, steps forward, grabbing Harry’s hand and starts rubbing his forehead with the other saying soothing things to him. 

The three other boys stand back taking everything in with similar looks of fear on all of their faces. What seems like a bit, is really only five minutes when they hear the heart monitor slow down and see Harry visibly relaxing. The boys let out the collective breath that they didn’t realize they were all holding. 

Gradually, Harry’s breathing evens out and he opens his eyes again. 

“Mr. Styles, can you hear me, how do you feel?” The nurse asks. 

Harry is exhausted and can only nod his head before he closes his eyes again. Louis used to the meds making him tired, continues to run his hand through his hair and leans down and whispers to Harry to go to sleep, “I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

Louis can see Harry visibly settle down and watches as he drifts off to sleep. The nurse hasn’t left and watches the exchange. “You’re good with him, seems like you have had some practice,” she says with a smile. 

“A bit, yeah. Do you know when Dr. Lintz is going to be coming back, I’m going to need to tell him what happened,” Louis asks. 

The nurse looks at Louis and knows that this young man has had to grow up way to fast and play nurse. Then she looks at the other boys and feels sorry for them. They shouldn’t have to deal with any of this, but they are faithful for sure. 

“Let me call him and you all can stay here. I even order up some coffees and breakfast for all of you,” the nurse replies and she heads out of the room. 

Louis looks up, rubbing his eyes and sees the boys, “Hi” he says quietly. 

“Hey Lou, you okay?” Liam asks. 

Not sure how to answer that, Louis takes a moment. He is feeling the adrenaline crash from worrying about Harry and he is so, so tired. Louis sits back down, almost missing the chair, causing Niall to quickly right him. Louis slumps down, still not answering. 

Zayn looks closely at Louis, not missing the dark eye circles, bloodshot eyes, and the lack of color in his face. That’s when he makes the decision, a decision that should have been made already. 

He walks over to Lou and kneels down, “Lou, I’m going to take you home and we are going to put you bed.” Louis looks up, opening his mouth, but before he can try to argue, Zayn continues. “You’re exhausted and you are no good to Haz when he gets to come home. You need to be healthy and you’re not in any condition to take care of anyone if you can’t take care of yourself. Now, let’s stand up, I’m taking you home.” 

Niall and Liam exchange a glance over Zayn’s and Lou’s head because nobody really gets away with telling Louis what to do and much to their surprise, Louis stands up, albeit shakily and looks at Zayn, “Okay” and he heads towards the door, turning to look at Liam and Niall, “You watch out for him and tell him I’ll be back,” and he heads out the door. 

Zayn looks at the other guys, communicating with a look and Liam nods to Zayn as he follows Louis out the door to take him home. 

“Um, didn’t think that would go how it did, it was almost too easy,” Niall says. 

“I think Lou was more tired than he was letting on and Zayn had a good point, he wouldn’t be able to take care of H if he doesn’t get some sleep,” Liam says. 

Niall nods and looks around, he goes and pulls up a chair, props his feet up on Harry’s bed and settles in. Liam does the same and they settle in.

Zayn admits to himself that he was surprised that Louis gave in so easily, but now with Louis sound asleep against his arm in the car, he isn’t anymore. 

When they arrive back at Lou’s and Harry’s flat, Zayn doesn’t have the heart to try to wake up Louis, he looks at Alberto, who nods and picks up Louis without question, carrying him up to his room. Zayn takes off his shoes and tucks him in. 

When Harry wakes up for the third time, it’s to something cold on his chest and his arm being squeezed. He blinks for a moment, a shot of fear from not knowing where he is and stranger danger until he sees it’s Dr. Lintz. 

“Harry, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” the doctor asks. 

“Um, I don’t know yet,” Harry replies, not really sure how he feels. If he had to answer, foggy and tired would come to mind. 

“I’m going to lift your bed for a moment so I can complete your exam and then let’s see about getting you home,” Dr. Lintz explains. 

As Harry sits up more, he starts to feel dizzy again and grabs onto the side of the bed, holding on. “Still a little dizzy, I see,” Dr. Lintz says after seeing Harry’s reaction. “It’s okay, we had you on some high dose meds.”

With the room not spinning, Dr. Lintz hands him some water which Harry downs instantly, not realizing how thirsty he was and Dr. Lintz finishes his examination. When he asks Harry to inhale, Harry was prepared to be taken down by coughs, but it wasn’t too bad. 

“So, you were on the mend yesterday, but what happened this morning? Your friends said you were asleep and an attack came,” Dr. Lintz asks. 

Harry looks around, embarrassed, but he sees that the room is empty. “I asked your friends to wait outside while I examined you,” Dr. Lintz explains apparently reading Harry’s mind. 

He takes a deep breath because he knows he needs to tell someone, he trusts Dr. Lintz. “I’m the one causing these problems and I hate it. I don’t know what happened, but Liam is hurt, Paul is mad, Simon is mad, people are having to rearrange schedules because of me. I told myself that if I ever made it, I would not do anything to jeopardize what we have. Too many people are depending on us and I messed up,” Harry says looking down ashamed. 

When he finishes, Dr. Lintz doesn’t say anything and finally Harry looks up at him. 

“Harry, sounds to me like you have a guilt complex.” Harry tries to interrupt, but Dr. Lintz goes on. “Hear me out, what happened to you was an accident, an ACCIDENT. You were doing your job and someone else made a mistake and as the result of their mistake, you were hurt. You have done everything we have asked of you to heal, not doing anything foolish or stupid . . .”

“But, when I fell . . .” Harry interrupts. 

“I seem to remember you were reaching for the phone when you hit your head, not trying to ignore it. Another accident and lesson learned. You have one of the best support systems I’ve seen in quite some time. Not all of my patients have so many people in their corner and before you try to interject, they are there because they love you and want what’s best for you. No one is mad at you; they are upset that YOU are in this situation and they can’t make it better. Now, I know what happened at the studio and the producer was in the wrong, your friends were only doing what friends would do and that is protect you, defend you. No one asked them to do it, but they did it. They are your band of brothers and whether you like it or not, they are going to keep doing it. But if the situation was reversed, I believe that you would probably do the exact same thing, right?” 

Letting the words sink in, Harry takes a bit to respond, but he nods his head. 

“Alright, when you can relieve yourself of this guilt complex, I think you’ll find that your healing will improve. You are so, so lucky to have what you have. In fact, Louis was beside himself thinking we would take you away from him because he was messing up and we would think he is unfit.”

“Wait, what? No, Louis is doing amazing. . .”

“I know that, you know that, but he loves and cares about you so much that he would do whatever he could to see to your health. It’s how he shows his love for you, by protecting and caring for you.”

Harry nods understanding, and feeling a little stupid for thinking this way. 

“I see you are getting it. I’m going to release you, but you can’t let yourself get so worked up that it brings on these attacks. It is really more panic attacks turning into asthma attacks. If you have another one, I’m going to prescribe you another medication to help you.” 

Harry looks up at that shaking his head, he hates taking prescriptions. 

“Talk to Louis, or call me, or talk to someone when you start feeling this way and let’s stay on vocal rest for a bit. You can write songs, play music, but let’s rest the voice and continue working on breathing exercises, okay?” Dr. Lintz asks. 

“I can do that,” Harry answers. 

“Good, now, are you ready to go home?”

“Yes.” 

“Alright, you are going to have to continue breathing treatments for the next week before you go to bed and as needed. Inhaler always close, and continue walking as you are able. You are going to feeling fatigued again, that is normal,” Dr. Lintz explains.

“Okay, I can do that,” Harry says.

Dr. Lintz nods and goes to prepare the discharge paperwork and inform Niall and Liam of his instructions so they can take Harry home.


	12. Chapter 12

When Liam and Niall come back in to help Harry get dressed, he is a little hurt that Louis isn’t with him. They must read his mind because Niall says “Louis was exhausted mate. Zayn is with him so he can rest and take care of you.” 

Harry feels guilty again, but he squashes it down, remembering Dr. Lintz’s words. 

“Liam, I’m so sorry about your hand,” Harry says. 

“It’s no big deal, felt good to punch someone and besides he deserved it. Was treating all of us like we were stupid,” Liam says with a chuckle. 

The mood lightened and they help Harry dress to go home. Harry feels the familiar shakiness again when he was trying to put on his joggers, but neither boy said anything. He is thankful for the boys’ help and said as much.

“It’s not a problem H, you would do the same if it was one of us,” Niall says and he is right, he would in a heartbeat if the roles were reversed. 

He didn’t balk when a wheelchair showed up for take him to the car, he was spent from dressing. He looked at Niall and Liam, who raised their eyebrows in questions.

“Who’s going to push me?” Harry asks. 

“Well seeing that Li has the bum hand, I guess you got me,” Niall says. 

It was an eventful ride to the car, complete with sound effects and some hairpin turns on two wheels that had them all smiling. 

Once they got Harry settled in the car, it’s not long until Liam feels a weight on his shoulder and looks down. Harry is out, so Liam puts his arm around him to make sure he doesn’t fall over. When he looks up, Niall is looking at him. 

“Do you think we are back where we started?” Liam asks. 

Niall shakes his head, “No, I don’t think so, I think it’s a setback. It’s also a reminder that Harry controls this, not management. We need to be united on this though if they try to push anything on us. We need to speak up for him.”

“Yeah, we do,” Liam agrees looking down at Harry again. If he squeezes him a little tighter, Niall doesn’t comment. 

When they arrive at the flat, they didn’t want to wake Harry so Paddy carries Harry to his room and the guys help in him into bed. Zayn following close behind, making sure to put Harry’s phone, a glass of water and his inhaler on the bedside table. 

Everyone heads downstairs and Paddy looks around saying, “Well, if you boys don’t need me, I’m going to head home. Call or text if you need anything.”

“Thanks Paddy, we appreciate it,” Liam says and the remaining boys sit down in the living room, all exhausted themselves. 

“How’s Louis?” Niall asks. 

“He didn’t even fight me, went straight to sleep in his room,” Zayn said. “I’ve been hanging out down here. I know we’ve been helping out, but we need to do more. He’s so exhausted . . .”

“Yeah, we do and we will,” Liam says. “Now while they sleep, we should sleep.” 

That is how Louis finds them, sprawled across the sofas and chair when he c0mes downstairs. He was alarmed at first when he woke up, taking a minute for his brain to catch up with why he is in his own room and not the one he shares with Haz now. After checking the time, he can’t believe it’s past six, and Harry must already be home. That thought causes him to climb out of bed and rush into Harry’s room. Relief washing over him when he sees Harry in bed. Louis walks up to him and listens for wheezing and without thinking he gently caresses Harry’s hair, moving it off his face. Harry shows no signs of moving and seeing his phone and inhaler on the nightstand, he heads downstairs. 

Louis is not surprised to see the guys down there, asleep as well. Rubbing his hand over his face, he knows that this has been hard on everyone. The least he can do is order a good meal for all of them. Going through all the take out menus, he decides to order chicken and veggies for everyone, but adds some fries for Niall and himself. With that done, he doesn’t know what else to do so he sits and enjoys the quiet, drinking a cup of tea. 

Harry doesn’t wake up the rest of the night causing Louis to check on him about every hour until he climbed into bed with Harry and fell asleep listening to Harry breathing. 

When Louis woke up the next morning, he stretched luxuriously finally feeling rested. He rolls over to look at Harry and finds the bed empty. He can feel that the sheets are cold telling him Harry has been up for awhile. Louis isn’t worried because he knows the boys are there. He sits up and stretches again and that’s when he gets a whiff of himself and grimaces, not remembering the last time he showered. 

After his shower, he heads downstairs and feels like it is a repeat of a few weeks ago. He immediately looks for Harry and sees him resting against Niall, almost asleep while the boys watch footie. He feels the familiar stirring in his chest, one of love and the need to protect. 

Zayn is the first to see him and nods to Harry and gives a thumbs up sign. Louis nods back, not wanting to wake him up and heads to the kitchen to make himself some tea. Zayn makes eye contact with Liam and Niall and communicates he is going to talk with Louis and follows him. 

“How’s he doing?” Louis asks. 

“He woke up around nine, texted me and I came up to help him. Wasn’t dizzy, ate some toast and had tea and then took his meds. He hasn’t really talked much, just answered our questions. His voice was rough, has been dozing for the last 30 minutes,” Zayn answers. 

“He feels guilty. He clams up when he thinks something is his fault,” Louis says. 

“But none of this is his fault, he should know this,” Zayn says. 

“Right, a rational Harry would, but when his defenses are down and he is so exhausted, the logical part of him doesn’t work. He knows we got upset because of what he couldn’t do and he reacted. Dr. Lintz thinks he may need some anti-anxiety drugs to help him,” Louis says.

“He’s not going to like that,” Zayn says. 

“Tell me something I don’t already know. If he doesn’t want to take them, then we need to help him see reason.” Louis says rubbing his hand over his face, “I thought he realized none of this was his fault and I think it was a fool’s errand that we started to record so soon. He thought he was back to normal, but the doc said it could take nine months and we were only six weeks out.”

Zayn agrees, “So, when are we going to do the interview? I think it will help if we can get everyone off our back.”

“I spoke with Paul and he with Simon, they are looking at setting something up next week without H.”

“Do you think he will be okay with that?”

“No, but he doesn’t have a choice. We need to explain what happened and that he is recovering, but we may not hit the road for a year and that’s okay. He is the priority as far as I’m concerned.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, he’s my brother, mate. 

Louis knows that’s how all the boys feel and he is lucky to have all of them by his side. 

The interview happens five days later. Zayn was right and Harry was not happy, but he agreed. He recovered from his attack and his energy level is almost back to where it was before, but when Louis told him what was happening, it almost did him in again. 

Louis could see it happening and rushed to calm him down. 

“Slow your breathing luv, there is nothing to be upset about,” Louis says, cupping his palm on Harry’s face. 

Harry gets his breathing under control with a few deep breaths, but is still upset. 

“I don’t like that you all feel like you have to defend me,” Harry says.

“We’re not defending you. No statement was ever issued explaining what happened, only that you were ill. We are going to explain what did and why we had to cancel the rest of the tour. It is really that simple. We all think it will take some pressure off of you and the fans will know that you are recovering and we will come back when we are 100%. Besides, we were all exhausted anyway. This gives us all a break.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I wouldn’t lie to you H, Simon is being super supportive and he arranged all of this. Management is even backing down; we are basically being given a sabbatical due to medical reasons for an undetermined amount of time. We all want you 100% when we go back on that stage, nothing less.

“Okay, but I hate this.”

“I know, but hopefully this will help take away some pressure. We can go to your mum’s, my mum’s, hell, we could even go on vacation and get away and focus on you,” Louis says. He leans forward and wiggles his eyebrows saying with a grin, “and I love to focus on you and all of you.” 

“Lou!” Harry says with exasperation. 

“What? I can’t help it if my boyfriend is incredibly gorgeous and he makes me want to do things to him, but only things I can do when he is healthy,” Louis says with a wink. 

Harry blushes, and Louis takes that as a good sign, so he leans forward and kisses him. It is the first time he has done it since Harry’s last hospitalization and it feels so good. Harry must think so too, because he leans in only pulling away when Harry starts coughing. He finds his inhaler in his hands very quickly after that. 

“See luv, time to recuperate so we can do things fully,” Louis says with a wink. 

Harry gets it, he really does, but he doesn’t have to like it. Louis is picked up the next day and Harry watches the interview during the news. If he really thinks about it, he is glad he is not there and is incredibly thankful the boys are doing this. 

“Good evening, we have most of One Direction here with us this evening for an exclusive interview. Boys, we haven’t seen or heard from you since Harry’s hospitalization, what can you tell us about that?”

Zayn answers the first question and explains what happened, leaving out the part of when they forgot Harry.

“You’re saying Harry was poisoned?” The reporter asks shocked.

“Yes, but not on purpose, three of us were, but Harry got the worse of it and with him already having asthma it was harder for him to recover,” Liam says.

“Who else in the band was affected?” 

“Zayn and I. We didn’t know it at the time, thought it was a bad cough, but then it started to get worse. They tested all of us and found our oxygen levels were dropping so were admitted for treatment as well,” Niall explains. 

“But you are okay now?” 

“Yeah, Harry was standing right over the vent so he inhaled the pollutants immediately, kind of like second hand smoke, we took some in, but it wasn’t as bad,” Niall answers. 

“That is scary, how did you all hold up?”

The boys looked at each other, not sure who was going to answer and little uncomfortable with reliving everything. Liam takes a deep breath and answers. 

“It was one of the worst times since we have been together and for me personally, it was one of the scariest times in my life. I thought we were going to lose Harry and then when Zayn and Niall went down, it was bad. Harry had to have surgery, his lungs filled with fluid and we almost lost him; he was on a ventilator. Just when we thought he was recovering; he took a turn for the worse.”

The boys nodded in agreement, lost in the memory of what happened as the reporter sat there stunned for a moment. “I’m so sorry that this happened to Harry and to all of you. Is that why Harry is not with us today?”

“Yes, the recovery is long and Harry has had some setbacks. The meds make him dizzy and he fell once we got home, causing a concussion. Also, his lungs are weakened and he is prone to asthma attacks and was just hospitalized for one this past week. We have to be mindful of pollutants in the air to help him recover, but he is recovering,” Louis says. 

“Wow, we had no idea and I know I speak on behalf of all of Harry’s fans, that I am so sorry he is going through this. Will he be able to rejoin the band?

“Yes, yes, he will, that’s why we wanted to do this interview. He’s actually unhappy he can’t be here right now to explain himself. We will be back, but we want everyone to know it’s going to take some time and when we do come back, we are going to be better than before. Now, we don’t know when because we want Harry to focus on recovery, but the band felt that we owed our fans an explanation,” Louis says. 

“We do, our fans are incredible and we wouldn’t be here without them, but we need their understanding now more than ever. We are not abandoning them, but we are turning our focus to help Harry recover so we ask for your patience and for privacy during this time,” Zayn says. 

“That is understandable and I hope the fans will respect that. Does Harry have a message he wants to give the fans?”

“Yes, he wants them to know he is sorry that this happened and to thank them for their support. He has been writing a lot and when we come back, we will have some new songs to share as well. He also asked me to stress that he is doing everything he can to focus on recovery so he can back as soon as he is able and he sends his love to all,” Niall says. 

Louis looks at him because he doesn’t know when Harry said all of that, but he smiles and nods anyway. 

“Well, this is all a lot to take in, and all of us wish a speedy recovery to Harry and hopefully no more setbacks. Thank you for coming and sharing with us.”   
When the camera shuts off, the boys get up and the reporter thanks them for coming, again repeating that he is so sorry this happened. 

The boys say the right things, as they head out and Louis wants to be back with Harry. This is the first time he has been left alone and he is starting to freak out a bit. Paddy, Carl, and Alberto are waiting with Paul and they are ushered back into the waiting car, avoiding the fans. 

“You all did a good job. Simon texted saying as much,” Paul said. 

“I hope it will assuage the fans and help Harry,” Liam says. 

“It will, because no one wants him to come back too soon, Li. This will give him time to recover and for all of us to rest,” Zayn says. 

Louis can only hope.


	13. Chapter 13

A few weeks go by and the boys fall into a steady routine. Tuesdays and Thursdays they end up at someone’s house and hang out, it also provides Harry a chance to get out of the house. They write together on Wednesdays and the weekends are for Louis and Harry. 

Daily, Harry is walking. He likes to go early in the morning and it’s killing Louis to get up before dawn to walk with him, but he didn’t dare let him go by himself and he didn’t want to call a bodyguard. They don’t talk much while they walk, but each time Harry goes farther and farther. He is also stepping up the pace, Louis makes no comment, but is tuned in to his breathing, listening for any wheezing. Occasionally, Harry will need his inhaler, but other than a puff in the morning and one at night, he is good. 

Harry still naps daily, sometimes for an hour, other times several. Those are typically on bad smog days. Louis makes sure to keep track of his sleeping and anything else that Dr. Lintz may need to know. He is overly cautious after missing the last asthma attack. 

Louis is also surprised that Harry is not complaining, in fact, he doesn’t complain at all. Louis doesn’t know if that is a good thing or not, but they are both becoming very domesticated and Louis loves waking up to Harry every morning, falling asleep cuddling and honestly, being in his presence. He’s not bored, but he can feel Harry becoming a bit restless. 

That’s why he suggests they travel. Things happened so fast when the band formed, that they never really were able to explore London or some of the small towns surrounding the city. When he mentions it to Harry, he immediately lights up so Louis pulls up a map on his compute and starts researching cool places to go. He knows Harry loves gardens, so he starts with Stourhead Gardens and finds a small little inn that they can stay. Feeling proud of himself, he makes reservations and tells Harry to pack his bags. 

On the other hand, Harry is miserable. He hates that he can’t jog at all, his body is becoming too fleshy for his tastes and he is bored out of his mind. He has been reading and writing a lot, but there is only so much he can do. His mates are doing their best, but Harry misses the non-stop hustle bustle of life. He would never say anything, so he smiles and does his part to get better, figuring complaining will not do anyone a bit of good. 

His one bright spot is Lou. Sometimes at night he will wake up and he will turn and face Louis carefully studying his features, completely relaxed in sleep, Louis’s mask is gone and Harry doesn’t think he has ever seen a more beautiful person in his life. The feeling of love fills him with joy. Harry is not oblivious to everything Louis has been doing for him, part nurse, part boyfriend, part parent, part friend and totally dedicated to Harry. He never complains, but always seems to anticipate what Harry needs before he realizes it himself. Besides his parents and sister, Harry has never had someone care about him the way Louis does. That thought makes Harry feel things he never has before and it scares him, but he wants to explore those feelings at the same time. 

Harry knows that Louis hates to get up early when he walks, but Louis never says anything and lets Harry take the lead. Harry secretly hopes he will get the jogging bug and will start running with Harry when he is able to do so. Harry is starting slow, so Louis will build up endurance. He smiles at that the thought because he doesn’t think Louis has caught on. 

When Louis suggested they travel around England, Harry was thrilled. It’s something he never really had the chance to do and the idea of doing something different excites him. They have traveled the world, but there is so much to see in their own country. When Louis tells him to pack, he gives no clue to where they are going and Harry is ready for a change. He throws in a book and his writing journal hoping he has a chance to do a little of that too. 

The next morning, both boys rise early, grab tea and hit the road. Harry wants to ask where they are going, but Louis looks so happy so he sits back and enjoys the scenery. 

Once they head out of London, Louis asks, “have you ever seen Stonehenge?” 

Now that Harry thinks about it, he hasn’t. “No, always thought one day, but never have.” 

That makes Louis’s mind up and he is pulling off the highway, following the signs. Neither both thought to ask for a bodyguard and they know they are taking risks, so when Louis parks, they put on jumpers, hats and sunglasses. 

“Let’s go be tourists, mate,” Louis says bringing a smile to Harry’s face as he follows the boy to the visitor’s center. 

They spend the morning being two normal guys, taking in everything. No one pays them any glance reminding Harry that sometimes the best disguise is being where you would least expect to be. Neither of them thought to bring a camera, but they walk around, holding hands and take in the large monolithic structure and reading the signs. 

“Seems crazy doesn’t it, that people built this?” Harry says. 

“They were probably bored, had no proper music to listen too, I reckon,” Louis answers. 

A couple of hours later, they climb back in the car and Louis heads to Stourhead. Harry naps after a quick lunch. Louis glances over, watching him while he sleeps, wanting to reach a hand over and touch his face, but he doesn’t want to disturb Harry. He feels that familiar stirring in his stomach whenever he looks to him. It is really hard to keep his hands to himself, so he settles on placing his hand on Harry’s knee. Harry opens his eyes and places his hand on top of Louis’s and closes his eyes again. When Louis turns off in the late afternoon, he looks for where he made a reservation and pulls in, waking up Harry.

“What’s this?” Harry asks, stretching. 

“It’s our home for the next two days, thought it would be nice and quiet,” Louis responds. 

Harry thinks it’s lovely and absolutely charming. “Are we going to do anything here?” 

“Oh Haz, we are going to do a lot of things here, pace yourself, Sun. But right now, let’s check in and eat,” Louis says. 

The boys get up early the next morning, Harry doesn’t want to, but that fact that Lou is up voluntarily, he doesn’t complain. Louis had arranged for a picnic for today and he packs a blanket, their notebooks, brings the guitar and makes sure Harry’s inhaler is there and they set off. 

“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” Harry asks once they climb in the car. 

“Nope, but I think you will like it when we get there,” Louis says with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

After a short drive, Louis pulls up to the gates of the gardens and watches Harry out of the corner of his eye. 

“A garden, Lou? You brought me to a garden?” Harry asks in wonder. 

“Yes, I know you love to visit gardens and I looked up one of the oldest gardens in England and found Stourhead. It’s over 300 years old and I have it on good authority that fall is the best time to come. Thought it would be a change of scenery for you,” Louis explains. 

“You are the sweetest, I love it. I can’t wait to walk around,” Harry says, leaning over to kiss Louis. 

The two get out and grab their things and set off to walk the grounds after checking in at the gate. The gardens are gorgeous and Harry is enjoying walking around, seeing a new sight after each turn. 

“This place is beautiful Louis, I love it.” 

“Thought you would, let’s look for a place to set up for a picnic,” Louis says. 

They walk for an hour more, not really speaking. It is more Louis watching Harry genuinely enjoy himself. There is a flush in his cheeks, a twinkle in his eyes and the smile on his face, makes Louis proud because he is the one who put it there. When they reach the grotto, Harry notices how secluded it is as they stand there, shoulder to shoulder, enjoying the view. Then, he turns to enjoy the view standing next to him. Studying Lou, Harry thinks he could be a Greek god, he belongs here among the statues. 

Without realizing it, Harry lets out the breath he was holding as he admires his boyfriend. Lou, always attuned to Harry’s breathing nowadays, turns to look at him and he sees Harry, with a dazed expression on his face, a small smile and he is studying Louis intently. 

“What?” Louis says. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” Harry says. 

Louis doesn’t know what to think at that comment, but he doesn’t have time to process it when he feels Harry pressing his body up to Louis and backing him up to the stone wall and Harry trapping him between his arms. Before he can get a word out, Harry presses his lips against Lou’s. 

There is something different in Harry’s kiss, a mixture of desperation and love, but also longing. He doesn’t want to stop kissing Louis, but damn, he needs to breathe and not wanting to be taken over with a coughing fit, he reluctantly breaks away. Not wanting to be out of Louis’s reach, he rests his forehead against his and breathes heavily and Louis does the same. 

Louis immediately tunes into Harry’s breathing, but there is no wheezing and he puts his hands on Harry’s hips, fingers digging in a bit. 

“You okay?” Louis asks. 

“Yeah.”

“What was that about?” Louis whispers.

“You’re my everything,” Harry breathily says. “I can’t be without you, I can’t exist without you, I can’t live without you and I don’t know how to express that to you. I love you so much that I hurt, like hurts my soul to think that you chose me. I ask myself why all the time, but I’ve realized that you see something in me that I don’t know how to see. I’ve stopped questioning and embraced it, but it comes with guilt because I don’t know how to be that person for you and I want to be,” Harry finishes, still a hair’s breath away from Louis. 

Louis is stunned absorbing Harry’s words and the weight of what they mean. Shakily, he reaches his hand up to Harry’s chin and lifts his face so they are eye to eye. “Haz,” Louis whispers, subconsciously tightening his fingers from the other hand into Harry’ s hips. “You already are.” 

Before Harry can process the words, Louis kisses him with such gentleness that Harry feels like he is floating in the euphoria. When they break a part, Harry asks, “I am?”

“Yeah, from the moment you peed on me, you were my one. I never had the nerve to completely act on it. But what you said, you’re the same to me, why do you think I try so hard to keep you alive? You’re my everything, and if you’re not there, then I’m not either. I can’t be without you and your accident made me realize that I need to show you. I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do, H. You’re are my everything,” Louis finishes, kissing Harry once again. 

When they break away yet again, Harry feels like the air is different, lighter somehow. His chest feels the same way, less restrictive almost. He takes a deep breath and doesn’t feel the tightness as he fills his lungs to their capacity. Fills them with Lou, fills them with love, unconditional love that he hasn’t felt from anyone besides his family. 

“You alright, luv?” Louis asks rubbing his hands down Harry’s back. 

“I am, I really am. I love you Louis,” Harry says. 

“And I love you Harry,” Louis answers back. 

Harry looks around and really takes in where they are taking it all in. They look like they have traveled back in time to Greece or Rome with the old stones and statue. Harry laughs saying, “There is something about this place, it feels a bit magical. Do you feel it?” 

“There’s something for sure, don’t know about magic, but it’s definitely romantic,” Louis says. 

“And there’s no one here, in fact, I haven’t seen anyone at all, that never happens to us,” Harry says. 

Louis scratches the back of his head before answering not meeting Harry’s eye, “Well, I kind of rented out the place so we can be normal for once, or as normal as renting out a place can be.” 

Harry starts laughing then, “Of course you did. Why am I not surprised? Have I told you lately I love you?” 

“Well, not in the last minute, but that is okay. I love to hear you say it,” Louis says with a smile. 

The couple continues walking around the path until they come across a clearing that Louis thought would be a great place for a picnic. Harry agrees and they set up, spreading out their things. 

“How are you feeling?” Louis asks.

“Good, not tired at all, almost feel like I’m reenergized,” Harry responds. 

Louis nods his head as he opens up the picnic basket from the hotel and starts spreading out their food while Harry opens up the guitar and begins to strum it, quietly moving his lips. Louis can’t quite make out what is being said, but he likes the melody. 

The boys spend the next few hours grazing over the food, talking and relaxing. Louis stretches out and puts his hands behind his head, closing his eyes in the sun. He smiles to himself as he hears Harry play the melody from before and hums something to himself. To Louis everything is right in the world and that is his last thought before he drifts away. 

Harry watches Louis once he closes his eyes and doesn’t miss the smile on lips. He keeps playing until he sees Louis fall into sleep. Smiling to himself, he pulls out his journal and starts writing. 

Long walks, sweet talks, without you, there is nothing.  
With you there is everything, everything.   
My soul hurts, my heart breaks, my breath escapes.   
Without you there is only space.

Silent caresses, stolen glances, sly kisses and hit or misses  
With you there is everything.  
I cannot be, if you are not there,  
for you’re my everything, everything.  
With you there is everything, everything. 

By my side, is where you’ll be  
If only I mean as much to you as you do me.  
You made your choice  
I’m not worthy, but you chose me.

You are my everything, everything.  
The Sun is the sky  
The light in the dark  
The beacon of light  
To my shining star

By my side is where you’ll be   
With you there is everything, everything.   
It’s the way it’s supposed to be. 

Harry sits back and rereads what he wrote, not even sure how that came out of him, but he is not questioning the writing Gods. When it clicks, it clicks, he thinks smiling to himself. Of course, he has a wonderful muse when he looks over at Louis sound asleep. This feels like the first sense of his old normal that he has had since everything happened and he feels joy, honest-to-goodness joy. The man he loves is next to him, there is no stress, he feels supported by his management and friends, Harry hopes this is a sign of things looking up. 

Feeling motivated, he starts developing more of the melody on the guitar and writing down the notes. 

He can tell his voice is already out of practice, but he is motivated. Harry already decided to name the song “Everything” and he wants to play with the word itself; not so much having a chorus, but repeating the word and drawing it out, emphasizing specific syllables. Harry tries to get his voice to cooperate, having to clear it the first time. He tries again and can hold the note longer. Feeling encouraged, he goes for more and then leads in with the guitar. 

It feels so good to stretch his voice out. Harry continues to work on the song, making notes as he goes. He only has to clear his throat a few times and since he is feeling great, he decides to go for it and play the song from the beginning, going all out.

Big mistake when he is felled by coughing fit. Harry is mad at himself because he knows better. At first, he thinks it will stop, but the coughing is not subsiding and he needs is inhaler. Not wanting to disturb Louis, he searches in the picnic basket, looking for it. He doesn’t see it, he goes to their bag, reaching his hand in, searching and feeling his breath catching. Finally, he dumps out the bag and sees it, immediately putting it to his lips squeezing. The relief is almost instant and he is taking in deep breaths feeling his lungs filling with air, Harry takes one more puff to be sure. 

He lays down, focusing on taking deep breaths, feeling his heart beat slow down. What was he thinking? Harry knew better than to go all out, but it felt so good, like really good. He watches the clouds above him, listening to his breathing, only a bit of wheeze and feeling tired, he closes his eyes. 

Louis opens his eyes, taking a moment to orient himself to where he is, remembering he is at the gardens with Harry. He blinks a few times and staring up at a cloudy sky before sitting up on his elbows taking in the scene after losing track of time. Louis notices the contents of the picnic basket are scattered about and then he sees the rock sack emptied out with their belongings everywhere on the blanket. He looks to Harry in alarm, thinking they had been attacked, but he calms down when he sees Harry sleeping. But what caused the mess, he thinks, surveying everything and then he sees it, the inhaler, held loosely in Harry’s hand. 

A spike of fear that jumps up to his throat as he scrambles over next to Harry, looking him over. He sees he is breathing, but puts his ear next to Harry’s mouth to reassure himself. Lou feels his hot breath on his cheek, but there is a small wheezing sound that escapes with each breath. 

What the hell happened while he was asleep? Why didn’t Harry wake him? Is Harry unconscious? Questions fly through his head so quickly and Louis wants to see Harry’s eyes. He gently shakes Harry, softly saying his name. 

“Haz, wake up please, come on baby wake up,” he says. 

It takes a few seconds, but to Louis it felt longer when Harry groaned and his eyes fluttered opened. 

Seeing Louis hovering over him when he opened his eyes warmed him and made him think of something kinky, but they his eyes met Louis’s and he could see the fear in them. 

“What, what’s wrong Lou, did something happen?” he says as he sits up, looking around. 

Louis is watching him closely, “You, you happened. Why is your inhaler in your hand?

“Ah, I needed it.” 

“Why is everything dumped out?”

“I couldn’t find it.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Uh, because I was handling it,” Harry says back with a bit of annoyed tone. 

Louis could tell Harry was becoming irritated, he pinched the bridge of his nose, “H, when I woke up, our things were dumped, you were asleep and the inhaler was in your hand. What conclusion did you think I jumped too?” Louis explains.

“Oh, yeah, that could have been a little scary,” Harry says. “Sorry about that. I was playing around with some lyrics and melodies and I overdid it and started coughing a bit. Couldn’t find my puffer and didn’t want to wake you up . . .” he trails off. 

“Oh Haz,” Louis says quietly. “I want you to wake me up, I could’ve helped.”

“I know, but Louis I can do it on my own. I’m not helpless, I’m healing and getting better. Sorry about the mess, I’ll clean it up.” Harry says.

“It’s not about the mess, luv. I was worried about you.”

Harry stands up then, royally frustrated. “But I don’t want you to be. I don’t want anyone to be worried about me. I’m tired of it. I can’t cough without people freezing and watching me to see if I need my inhaler. I can’t go anywhere by myself without someone following me, waiting for me to fall over. I can’t even go upstairs without you asking where or what I’m doing. I’m so tired of it, I want things to go back like they were before. I putting so many people out of work and causing so many problems, I hate all of it!” he says, pulling at his hair and pacing. 

Louis can only watch, speechless, but not surprised. He stands up and approaches Harry, but not touching him. 

“Luv, look at me. I know we are annoying, but we haven’t really told you our side of things when you were in the hospital. I can’t speak for the others, but I may have some PTSD because it was touch and go for a bit and it was the scariest time in my life. First, you were missing. When they said you were unconscious and taking you to the hospital, I had no idea what happened, but the idea of you being alone scared me to death. Then we got there and you still hadn’t woken up, we didn’t know what we were dealing with. We were in another country, no family. It was so scary. What if you died and I hadn’t told you how I felt, what if you died and I had to live without you? Us worrying about you, it’s our love language, showing you, we care and doing everything in our power to make sure you are healing so we can have you back. We don’t ever want to relive that again, so let us, yeah? Let us take care of you because we felt helpless, I felt helpless for too long and now I don’t,” Louis finishes studying Harry closely.

Harry took a minute to think through what was said. His shoulders fell as he realized he was being selfish, something he tries to never be. It didn’t occur to him to look at things through a different perspective and while he is healing, so are his friends. 

He looks up at Lou, “I’m sorry. I guess we are both going through stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah, I would say we are,” Louis says.

“I’ll do better, I promise,” Harry replies.

“And that’s all I ask,” Louis says. 

The couple hugs and separate after a kiss to round up their things, a new understanding between them. They finish the day walking through the gardens and that night, they show each other how much they love they have for one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da! We are getting towards the end of this story. Drop me a comment and let me know what you think or suggestions for where to go next. 
> 
> What did you think of the song Harry wrote? I was inspired late at night and it took about five minutes to write. How does that happen?


	14. Chapter 14

Another month goes by and Harry feels like he is playing house with Louis. He has started taking over the cooking again, he is jogging up to four to five miles a day without issues and Louis is actually joining him and keeping up with him. 

One morning, Louis wakes up finding the bed empty, something that is becoming more common as H feels better. He is an early riser and likes mornings the best to do his Harry things. Usually Louis will go back to sleep, but he feels a need to be near Harry, to lay eyes on him, to see for himself that he is okay. An after effect of the accident that Louis can’t get over, his own form of PTSD he thinks. 

Louis hears the music first and then Harry’s rumbling morning voice. He is not straining it, but humming to the music. When he glances in the doorway, Haz is at the stove cooking and only wearing his briefs. Louis smiles to himself as Harry shimmies his hips, pulling out the breakfast necessities, then Harry turns down the music and starts humming a tune that Louis isn’t familiar with and then he starts to sing . . . “Sunflowers, Sometimes/Keep it sweet in your memory/I was just tongue-tied/And I don’t wanna make you feel bad/My sunflower, sunflower/I could not want you anymore/But I like to kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor . . . 

As he listens to Harry sing, thinking that he calls Harry “Sun,” he can’t help but wonder who the song is about, but he loves it. Louis has never heard anything like it before, not even when they have been writing with the other boys. He loves the song and dances over to Harry, putting his arms around him. He feels him flinch and then Harry brings Louis’s hand up to his lips to kiss it. Louis holds his hand and spins him around. 

“I’ll kiss you in the kitchen and use it as a dance floor with you anytime, Haz,”

“Heard that, huh?” Harry says with a smile.

“Yep, where did that come from?” 

“Wrote it when we were at Kew, remember all those sunflowers? Reminded me of you, been sort of playing with the lyrics for a bit.” 

“It sounds lovely, your voice was different with that one. Were you going for that?” 

“Maybe, I don’t know. Just playing around to see what I can do. Happy you liked it, but let’s eat.” Harry says with a kiss stopping Louis from questioning it anymore. 

Dr. Lintz comes less and less, pleased with Harry’s progress and not having to use the nebulizer in five weeks. In fact, it’s starting to collect dust. He is also pleased with his jogging, but cautions Harry on high ozone days. 

Harry is working with the band’s vocal coach and a respiratory therapist once a week as well. Having them there together really helps because the last thing he wants to do is suffer through another coughing fit. They work on breath control and activities to help him. He sings some songs as well and works to not stress his voice. He can make it through most songs without any problems, “Story of My Life” is the hardest though and he can’t hit the high notes or the very low ones without having to cough. 

Harry is finding that his voice has changed, something the RT said could be scarring from the breathing tube. It is not noticeable to Louis, but Harry has found he can go a bit deeper and be raspier. He secretly likes it and plays around with notes when he sings. 

The guys and him are writing a lot and between the piano and guitar, they have enough to fill an album with songs they have written individually and together. After one of their sessions at Liam’s house, everyone is packing up, but Harry makes no move to put his guitar away. Louis looks at him quizzically. 

“Haz, you coming?” Louis asks. 

“Actually, do you mind if I stay with Liam for a bit? Need to go over something with him,” Harry says hoping Liam plays along with him since he didn’t mention it before. 

Louis is surprised, but doesn’t say anything. He hasn’t left Harry’s side since they have been home and now the thought of driving to their flat without him unsettles him a bit. 

“Sure, but how are you going to get home?” Louis says. 

“I can give him a ride, it’s not a problem,” Liam says. 

“I can walk home too, it’s only a mile,” Harry says. 

A chorus of NOs fills the air from all four of them. “Okay, maybe not, but I’ll see you in a bit.” Harry says to Louis. 

Louis narrows his eyes, he doesn’t know what Harry is up to and he shouldn’t be worried, but he is a little hurt that he didn’t know about it ahead of time. 

“Louis, what if we go out to the club tonight, the guys can meet us there?” Zayn asks. 

For some reason, a night out sounds wonderful. He hasn’t been out in ages, since Harry’s accident, always concerned about him, that he purposely chose to not leave Harry alone more than an hour. But he figured, why not, it will feel good to do something normal for once.

He looks at Harry and Harry nods, mouthing “go.” That’s all the reassurance he needs, looking at Zayn and Niall, “Well, it looks like we are having a lads’ night. Meet you at the usual place?” Louis says. 

Niall and Zayn nod, “We’ll pick you up at nine,” Niall says. 

With that settled, the three boys head out and Liam turns to Harry, “Not that I mind, but are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am, but I need your help and after today, I had an idea and I need you to help me,” Harry explains.

“Lou couldn’t do it?” 

“No, it’s for Louis.” He looks down shyly, pulling his notebook out of his bag, “It is a little something I’ve been working on and he doesn’t know about it.” 

Liam takes the offered notebook and reads through the lyrics of “Everything.”

“You wrote this?” Liam asks, not hiding the amazement in his voice. 

Harry nods his head. “Harry, this is beautiful. It’s about Lou, isn’t it?” 

Again, Harry nods his head. “I’m flattered you shared it with me. What do you need my help with then because I’m sure as hell not going to touch the lyrics?” 

Harry explains what he was thinking for the melody and strums a few notes on the guitar. “I’m stuck, I can’t get it over this one part,” Harry says. 

Liam listens and soon they are writing down new notes and playing back and forth. Harry even adds a few more lines of lyrics. 

“There, I think we have it!” Harry says triumphantly and he starts playing it from the top. 

Liam watches him in amazement, listening to the deep timbre of Harry’s voice and then the high notes. Harry is not holding back and when he finishes the last note, he looks at Liam with a smile. 

“I have chills, legit chills. That is absolutely amazing Harry, really. Louis will love it, I know he will,” Liam says. 

A cough escapes from Harry and he thinks, “here I go.” Then another cough, and he stands up looking for his inhaler. He finds it in his bag and takes a puff, after a few deep breaths, he feels the tightness release and turning to Liam who has been watching with a look of concern. “You good?” Liam asks. 

“Yeah, it happens when I try to push myself, but I wanted too. So, you like it?” Harry asks. 

“Like it, I love it. Are you going to share it with the rest of the guys or is this for yourself only?” 

“I don’t know, I want Louis to hear it first and then maybe I’ll share it out,” Harry replies.

“Can I write it up, work on parts and harmonies if you do decide to share it?” 

Harry agrees and looks at the time. “Crap, its already ten. Can I borrow some clothes and we can meet the guys at the club?” 

Liam nods his head and they quickly get ready and head over to the club. 

When they arrive, Harry can already hear the music and he is excited to do something so normal. The club is exclusive, so they have not trouble entering after Liam passes his keys to the valet. They immediately head over to the VIP section, looking for the other guys and Harry sees Louis right away dancing with some of their friends. He guesses, they texted the group, seeing their girl and guy friends. Harry looks around and doesn’t see their guards anywhere and he feels like they have some anonymity that rarely follows them anywhere. However, since his accident, it has happened more than once. He is grateful because for once he is not Harry, part of a world famous band, he’s Harry, out with his friends, the love of his life, doing things that normal lads his age do, albeit in an exclusive club in the VIP section, but he will take it however he can. 

Harry steps to the side and watches Louis having fun. He is holding a drink and dancing with a couple of their girlfriends with a larger than life smile on his face. The innocence and normalcy of it all is not lost on Harry. It’s good for Louis to be out without him, not worrying about him for once. 

Harry smiles, taking everything in and thinks maybe the music, the concerts, the fame isn’t worth it anymore. Maybe, a nice quiet life with Louis is what he wants. The ability to go to the store without being recognized, the ability to leave his house without guards. They could have a house in the country with gardens everywhere and raise their child, no children and live life to the fullest. Louis could still do music, could even tour, but Harry would stay home and be a husband, be a dad, be normal with only the demands of his family and not someone else to answer to. It sounds so nice to him, lovely. Could he really walk away from all of it? He doesn’t know, but he likes his options. It is something he needs to think about. 

“Earth to Haz, you with us mate, been standing here since you came in?” 

Harry snaps back to reality, blinking his eyes a bit, and sees Niall standing in front of him looking a bit sloshed, but concerned. 

“Yeah, sorry. Just taking it all in,” Harry says. 

Niall stands next to him and puts his arm around Harry’s shoulders, “We’re lucky, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah, we are, but would you walk away from all of it if you could?” Harry asks. 

Niall looks at Harry, “What, are you pissed? Why would I want to do that? I’m making music, traveling the world, performing in front of thousands, and I’m doing it with my best mates, and not to mention the money and girls.”

“But do you ever get tired of it all, the pace of everything?” Harry asks. 

“Yeah, sometimes, but then I figure I can sleep when I’m older. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I want to take advantage of it while I can. The fact that fate, chance, whatever you want to call it put us five together and we actually like each other. I mean what are the chances? They chose us and I’m going to do my best to enjoy every minute of it,” Niall says. 

Harry looks at him, thinking about what he said. Niall makes sense, maybe Harry is being selfish because it isn’t just about him, it’s his four other brothers too. He feels a squeeze at his waist and looks down at Niall. 

“You okay, mate? You’re not thinking of leaving are ya’?” 

Harry shakes his head, “No, just looking at things with a different perspective, that’s all.” 

“Good, let’s get you a pint and let’s dance,” Niall says and pulls him into the mix. 

Their friends greet Harry and pretty soon he feels the familiar arms around him and turns and sees Louis. “Hi Luv, what do you want to drink?” 

“Hi Boo Bear, water for me tonight. Can’t drink with my pills.” 

“That’s right, sorry, forgot about that,” Louis says and gets a waiter’s attention. “Come dance with me.” 

That is something Harry can do as he gets lost in the crowd.

Sometime later, Harry is hot and sweaty, but it’s been worth it to blow off some steam, but he is tired. They’ve danced, sung karaoke, danced and laughed a lot. Currently, he is sitting on the couch, catching his breath, drinking some water. He pulls out his inhaler and takes a few puffs, starting to feel a tightness in his chest. After some deep breaths, it eases; amazingly, he hadn’t thought about his health the whole night and that brings a smile to his face. Normal, he is slowly getting back to it and it feels great. He leans back, closing his eyes and enjoys it. Even with the thumping music and loud voices, Harry slips off, feeling safe surrounded by people who love him. 

Louis is pissed, not really sure which way is up and he doesn’t care. Having a lads’ night was much needed and having Harry join him was even better, but where is Harry? He hears a bit of a commotion over by the couch, causing him to turn around and he sobers instantly when he sees Zayn and Liam kneeling in front of Harry. Harry who has his head leaned back and his eyes are closed. Both boys are shaking him and calling his name. That’s what Louis hears, there is an urgency in it. He shoves people out of his way, not apologizing, an urgency and thread of fear forming in his chest. 

Louis gets there the same time Niall does. 

“Guess someone can’t handle his drink tonight, lightweight Harry,” Niall says laughing. 

“Shut up, he didn’t drink, can’t because of the meds,” Louis says. “What’s wrong with him, Li?”

“Came over to sit down, found him like this and I can’t wake him up,” Liam says. 

Louis feels the fear climb inside him and squeeze his heart, he leans forward and feels for Harry’s pulse, relieved when he feels it strong under his fingers. Then he leans forward and puts his face in front of Harry’s mouth, feeling his hot breath on his face. Some of the fear unclenches and Louis looks around, noticing the inhaler in Harry’s hands. 

Louis gets close to Harry again, trying to listen to his breathing, trying to hear any telltale sounds of wheezing, but it’s too loud. Maybe Harry is only sleeping, he has lasted longer today than normal. 

“Harry, HARRY!” Louis yells, slapping his face a bit, but still no reaction. 

“Should I call 999?” Zayn asks. 

“Not yet,” Louis says grabbing a half empty on the table and he throws it on Harry. 

Harry wakes with a start, sitting up fast, sputtering from being wet, “What the fuck?” he gets out before looking up at the boys who have different looks of fear and relief on their faces. “What, what’s going on? Why are you all looking at me?” he asks. 

Liam rubs his hand down his face, “Fuck, mate, you weren’t waking up, we thought, I thought . . .” Liam trails off, not wanting to say what they were all thinking. 

“Shit, only you would fall asleep in a club. God Harry, you can’t do that,” Zayn says. 

“You were holding your puffer, we thought, we thought . . .” Niall points to Harry’s hands, not missing that Niall can’t finish his sentence. 

Louis says nothing, frozen in all but his eyes as they take in every detail of Harry. 

Harry realizes he properly freaked out his mates, and goes to stand up. Louis steps forward then, helping, afraid that Harry may be dizzy. Harry waves him off and says, “I was just going to close my eyes for second. I’m fine, took a couple puffs, but other than that, I was just a little tired. I’m sorry, I scared you all.” 

He looks to Louis, “Are you okay?” 

Sobered up now, Louis rubs his hands on his face, “I guess I was presented with what our new reality is, our new normal. I thought you were dead,” Louis says. 

“Oh baby, come here,” and Harry pulls him into his arms hugging him tight. “I’m sorry I scared you, I wasn’t trying to.”

Everyone is standing there a bit awkwardly, Liam a little sheepish that he freaked out and Harry motions to all the boys and he pulls them into a group hug. 

“I’m so sorry I scared you all, I’m okay, really, I am,” Harry tells them.

No one acknowledges Harry’s comment, but everyone squeezes a little bit tighter. 

“What time is it?” Zayn asks when they break away. 

Harry looks at his phone, “around two, you guys ready to call it a night?” 

They all agree it’s time, the high dropped dramatically and they are ready to head home. Harry gives the ticket for Liam’s car to the valet and he gets his mates in the car after they say goodbye to their friends. 

Harry decides that the band can stay with Lou and him tonight, he doesn’t want them waking up alone and he can take care of their hangovers in the morning.

Once Harry gets everyone to bed, he climbs in next to Louis to find him crying. 

“What’s wrong Boo bear?” 

“H, I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. Tonight, was just a sobering reminder,” Louis says. 

Harry squeezes Louis tighter, “I know, I love you and will not do anything to scare you like that again,” Harry says quietly. He holds Louis to him until he hears his breathing even out and he knows he is asleep. 

That dream, the reality of a future with Louis ensures that Harry will be careful because he wants that future.


	15. Epilogue

Six months later, the band is back in North America picking up the tour where they left off from Harry’s accident. They have already recorded a new album and it will be released during their last concert in London when their family and friends can be with them. 

Before they left England, the entire tour had a staff meeting with Paul and the band. Louis had already spoken to Paul privately and he had some requests that needed to be addressed. Everyone was excited to see each other again and Harry specifically wanted to thank everyone for their understanding. 

Harry does just that when they start the meeting. He also feels the need to apologize for causing such a delay, but no one will accept it. Louis is not surprised, but Harry is so self-effacing that he did it anyway. Harry finishes with a request.

“Um, so can we not have smoke machines during our concert, uh, like leave them out all together?” 

That brings out a bunch of laughter, and the stage crew nod their heads in understanding. 

“I think that is definitely something that can be arranged,” Paul says. 

Another one of crew speaks up, “Actually its already been arranged. We will not have any smoke machines.” 

Harry nods gratefully and feels relieved saying “Thank you.” He already has an idea of who arranged it. 

“We also are going to be more aware during the concert in case Harry needs his inhaler. He is concerned about calling attention to himself, but an attack could come on at any time. We will be keeping an inhaler for him on the stage, but also our security guards, myself, and our stage manager will always have one on them so it is available to Harry. He will give us a signal, so be ready,” Paul explains. 

No one has a problem with that and Harry is embarrassed by having to do this. 

“I would like to thank you for your understanding in this, we have all been through a lot these last nine months and to think we almost lost our Harry, this alleviates a lot of concern the band has,” Louis says. 

Harry looks lovingly at Louis and knows this is part of his life now, asking others for help and not being afraid too. He reaches out his hand to Louis and if anyone notices a ring on Harry’s hand, no one says anything. 

Towards the end of the first concert back, Harry is feeling great and realizes how much he misses being on stage. The boys, Paul, and even security have checked on him a lot during the concert, but he has had no problems and is back to old antics. He has faith that Dr. Lintz would not have cleared him if he wasn’t ready. 

Before the final song, Niall, Zayn, and Liam go off the stage to grab some stools while Harry is speaking to the crowd. 

Louis stands there quizzically, not sure what is happening, wondering if he missed a meeting. Liam walks over to Louis and guides him to sit on a stool set away from the four others. 

“What’s going on?” Louis says. 

“Just go with it mate,” Liam says and winks. 

“I would like to thank you all for your understanding for us having to suspend the tour. Having to go through what I did was very scary and incredibly emotional, not just for me, but the whole band. However, I came out of this with a new appreciation for what is important and telling those you care about how you feel because life is fragile. You never know when your last “I love you,” will be your last,” Harry says and the audience responds with aaawwwws. 

“We are going to go off script here, if you would be so kind to humor me, but I need to tell the person who was by my side for all of this that they are important to me. This is ‘Everything’ and I would like to dedicate it to Mr. Louis Tomlinson,” Harry says walking away and the fans cheer louder than ever.

He sneaks a peek at Louis as he goes to the stool and Niall hands him his guitar. Lou has his mouth wide open, not sure what to do, but completely in shock. Harry quietly counts off and begins. 

“Long walks, sweet talks, without you, there is nothing.” 

A quiet comfort settles over Harry as he sings and the other guys harmonize with him. He only has eyes for Louis and everything else falls away in that moment. To Harry, it is only Louis and him on that stage, everything else just falls away. And at that moment, Harry see their future, it won’t be normal, but it will be their normal

-fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, who would have thought an idea that hit me in early April ended up being my first ever published fanfic causing me to write a part two. Thanks for all the support, comments and kudos. I hope I did the the story justice. Let me know your thoughts. Comments and Kudos are always welcomed. :) 
> 
> Ciao!


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